Below is a preview of a wonderful music collection titled, “Kiss Your Bride.”

Enjoy. And, if you like it, you can find more like it at BrideGroomMusic.com.

Posted: October 25th, 2007 under Christian Marriage.
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Matthew Paul Turner is a Christian Author and speaker.

His video (below) for his book, “What You Didn’t Learn From Your Parents About Sex…” is one of the most viewed Christian videos on YouTube…for all time!

In this book, Matthew interviewed me because of our books Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband and Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife.

I thought you might enjoy the video.

Posted: October 24th, 2007 under Christian Sex.
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If you are in a marriage that feels like it is stuck in a negative rut, you might want to check out a new CD by Pastor Jason Barrie (www.RMCCMontana.org) and Tara Klena Barthel (www.tarabarthel.com) titled, “Mediating the Miserable Christian Marriage.”

In this CD, they give an overview of the most successful approaches to taking a Christian marriage from miserable to miraculous.

On overview of what they cover…

A CYCLE OF DESPAIR

- From the initial contact on, we listen carefully for the details of the “cycle of despair” in which this couple is caught (Galatians 6:1). The miserably married Christian couple is in a “rut” of deeply engrained bitterness, gracelessness, and uncharitable presumption. “The Great Wall of China” exists between this couple. It was built one brick—one offense—at a time and it is immense.

- We are called to first preach the gospel to each other (as co-conciliators) and then call the parties to remember the gospel. We get to model the very things we are calling them to (Colossians 3).

- Christian conciliation is merely one step of the process of bringing this dead marriage to life again. Lasting change happens within the ongoing fellowship and accountability of the local church.

ISSUES AND IDOLS

- Pay particular attention during storytelling to how each spouse describes the same situation (and responds to the other person’s interpretation). Note how each person describes the “real problem” in the marriage. (“If only …” “Satan.” “A generational bondage of anger …” “I’m being emotionally abused.”) As mediators, we help them to understand what the Bible says the problem is (the heart) and what the biblical solutions are (repentance and faith).

-For both of them—but especially for the wives—listen for the issue of shame. (From Peacemaking Women: “Shame is often experienced as a vague but overwhelming sense that no matter how hard we try, we will never be good enough … we feel as though no matter how much we may desire relationships with others, no one will ever really want us.”)

- Especially for the husbands, listen for struggles with how to be a Christian leader. Often by the time the case comes to us, one of the main complaints of the wife is that the husband does “not want to lead.” But listen to the husband, draw him out: how has she responded when he has tried? Then listen for how this refers back to the wife’s shame.

- A huge issue for the miserably married Christian couple will be exhaustion—even to the point of indifference. This couple is weary and tired of trying. They don’t like each other. They are happier apart from each other. Why would anyone call them to stay together and persevere in this marriage? We help them to remember Who God is and all of the present means of grace in Christ. We point them to an eternal perspective—that their marriage exists to testify to the veracity of the gospel and show the world Jesus (John 17, Ephesians 5).

- There must always be a balance between listening and teaching during story-telling. In order to move the process along, we must call the parties to Christ, teach them basic biblical doctrines (God, Man, sin, justification, sanctification), and make sure they understand foundational peacemaking principles (functional idolatry, how to confess, and what it means to forgive).

SCRIPTURES AND STRATEGIES TO ENCOURAGE,
CONFRONT, REBUKE, AND COMFORT

- The fundamental issue is, “What is causing this conflict?” The temptation is to point the finger outside of ourselves. This is why thirty years of “marriage counseling” and seminars don’t help—but a two-day mediation sometimes does. We teach them about functional idolatry (James 4) and help them to lay hold of Christ as they repent of their idols and apply the gospel to their hearts.

- Help them to understand the difference between justification and sanctification (Philippians 2:12-13, “…for it is God …”). Patterns do not change overnight, but in one step and then the next step. Sin is no longer our master (1 Corinthians 10:13). Explain The Cross Chart. Remind them of the difference between conviction and condemnation. Use The Triangle.

- Help them to create safety in their relationship. Obviously, we can’t address 30 years of hurts—but go “deep” into one or two and then practice “gracing one another” (ministering Christ to one another) in each situation (avoid “zingers,” be specific, focus on own heart, gospel/law distinction). Not for love and acceptance—but from the place of love and acceptance (2 Peter 1:2-11).

- Be ready with specific brief summaries of the gospel (Ephesians 1, Titus 3) and guide them in their confessions (specificity) and as they grant forgiveness. (“Anything else?” “Let’s talk about that some more.” “That’s wonderful. Great progress. But let’s go a little deeper. Tell me about …” “Say more …”)

IN CONCLUSION

- A few miscellaneous things to mention: 1) Benefits of a co-conciliation team; 2) Importance of note-taking; 3) Ideas for homework; 4) Abuse situations; 5)S*x.

- Jason is always calling the husbands to be the “Chief Confessors.” Help them to see that we mediators struggle in the same ways in our married lives.

- The goal is not a happy marriage. The goal is God’s glory. (But the wonderful gift of grace is that God’s glory and our happiness intersect!) We do not want to merely help them to feed each other’s idols.

You can find how to obtain a copy of this CD here.

Posted: October 23rd, 2007 under Christian Marriage.
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Most Fridays, I try to lighten it up a bit and give you a laugh.

If you can watch the following video and not laugh…you really need to lighten up.

Enjoy and have a great weekend.

Don’t forget…

Think youre really righteous?
Think youre pure in heart?
Well, I know Im a million time as humble as thou art
Im the pious guy the little amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin points for the afterlife
So dont be vain and dont be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heini

Posted: October 19th, 2007 under Humor, Christian Culture.
Comments: 1

There is an interesting article on low male sex drive at Psychology Today’s web site.

A few snippets…

Although it contradicts all the cultural beliefs about the way men are, men can lose their libido too. The solution: Just do it.
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It contradicts all the cultural beliefs we have about the way men are and/or are supposed to be, but the dirty little secret is… American men are flagging in their desire for sex.

“Men are so ashamed of speaking up about low sexual desire,” observes Michele Weiner-Davis, a marriage therapist from the Chicago area. It violates their own sense of masculinity. But “low desire in men is America’s best-kept secret,” she says, and estimates that it affects “at least 20 to 25%” of adult males.

But it strikes terror into the heart of a guy to even think he might not be interested, because his sense of self is usually tied up in his virility. So no one has real information on just how many men are affected.

Nevertheless, there appears to be a great and growing gap between the reality of the current state of male desire and the cultural mythology surrounding it. Men are more and more having it less and less. Weiner-Davis is seeing it among the couples who turn up at her door for help.

You can find the whole article here.

If you are struggling with this issue in your marriage, you can find Susan’s Book, “When Your Husband Is Never In The Mood” here.

Posted: October 18th, 2007 under Low Male Sex Desire.
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This past weekend, there was another triumph at the box office for intelligent, family-friendly entertainment.

Tyler Perry’s “Why Did I Get Married?” trounced all other new releases to be the box office champion…by a wide margin.

If you are familiar with Tyler Perry, you know that he draws heavily upon his Christian upbringing and creates uplifting, yet very funny products.

Below is a trailer for the movie.

If you and your spouse are looking for a “date night” idea this week, you might consider this movie.

Posted: October 17th, 2007 under Christian Romance, Christian Culture.
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Many readers ask us for creative love making ideas.

It really can be difficult to come up with new and unique, fun ideas…that you haven’t yet tried.

Most of us (me included) can use some help in this area.

For the next 24 hours…with the purchase of any of our products (ordered through this link)…we will be giving away a FREE copy of “101 Creative Lovemaking Ideas.”

This handy little book is filled with fun, creative love making ideas.

Even if you try a new one…every night…it will take you over three months to get through all of them!

Posted: October 16th, 2007 under Uncategorized.
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Below is a link to an animation video that demonstrates how to find and stimulate the female g-spot.

It is one of the best animations of this subject available online; it is simple, easy and quick.

If the finding and stimulating the g-spot is something that interests you, you can learn everything you need to know about this topic by ordering our special “g-spot” version of our e-book packages, located here.

Before clicking on the link, be aware… this video is an animation…but it is appropriately graphic.

G-spot video

Posted: October 15th, 2007 under g-spot.
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Below is a video by sexologist June Machover Reinisch, Ph.D..

Dr. Reinisch is not (as far as I know) a Christian counselor, but she is a well-known and technically-sound resource for issues of sexuality.

In this video, she discusses the myth that men are not capable of being multi-orgasmic.

If you are interested in learning how to become a “multi-orgasmic male,” you will find the exact, step-by-step methods for doing so in “Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband.

Posted: October 12th, 2007 under Christian Sex, Christian Sex Advice, Male Sexuality, married sex.
Comments: none

Procter & Gamble Pharmaceuticals has released a female hormone patch, Intrinsa, that shows real promise in increasing female libido.

Currently, it is only available in Europe. But, you can order it online at several sites (you’ll have to do the homework.)

P&G’s site for this new medication is here.

Below is a news story for the UK that discusses this new medication…

If you are a woman that does NOT need this type of hormonal therapy (most) to significantly improve her sexual pleasure and response, you may want to start with Susan’s book, “Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife.”

Posted: October 11th, 2007 under Christian Sex, Female Sexual Dysfunction, Christian Wives, increase female sex drive.
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