Last week, I received the following email from a reader:

Hello Robert, I praise the Lord there is someone who can give advice for lovemaking in marriage.

I downloaded Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife, but I need to know things for my husband’s enjoyment; I wanted to download Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband.

I have never been able to talk to anyone about this b/c they know my husband, but could you please tell me, IS IT NORMAL FOR A MAN TO WANT HIS WIFE TO STIMULATE HIS RECTUM? (This is embarrassing, but so very important.)

My husband and I have been married for 27 years, but it makes me feel less of a woman when he wants me to touch him alot there.

This seems to arouse him more than anything else I do.

Please help me understand if this is normal, if I shouldn’t, or if I should, the best ways. I hope you’ll answer.

Thank you and GOD bless you for doing this and keeping it within boundaries to GOD’s glory.

Sincerely,

[removed]

First, an aside…

What other site will you find the phrases “God’s glory” and “IS IT NORMAL FOR A MAN TO WANT HIS WIFE TO STIMULATE HIS RECTUM?” in the same post? Very few. Come on…admit it…probably only this one!

Back to the question at hand…

First, I don’t like to play along with the “normal” designation. Relative to our sexuality, “normal” shouldn’t be a valid question to ask.

As long as a sexual desire/act does not fall into one of the obviously “prohibited” categories outlined in Scripture, there is no “normal.” One of the wonderful and cool things about our sexuality is how diverse are the possibilities…and needs and desire.

But, that said, it is not unusual for a man to desire anal stimulation.

This is because this area (particularly in men) is, anatomically, a very erogenous zone.

This fact that this area has been designed (by God) to be erogenous is simple…it contains many more “pleasure” receptors (nerve endings) than most other parts of the body.

And, this area contains the male version of the “G Spot,” the prostate.

Below is a diagram of this area…

The prostate is about the size of a walnut and is located just under the bladder, in front of the rectum.

The purpose of the prostate is to lubricate (add semen and other fluids) to the ejaculation process.

But, one of the other primary functions of the prostate is…pleasure.

The concentration of pleasure giving nerve endings surrounding the prostate make it the exact equivalent of the female “G Spot.”

Stimulating the prostate can double or triple the potential pleasure for a man, during sex.

Stimulating the prostate can also help to delay ejaculation!

How do you stimulate the prostate?

There are two basic ways:

1) Externally

You can stimulate the prostate externally by stimulating the area between your husband’s scrotum and anus.

2) Internally

The most effective way to stimulate your husband’s prostate is by directly massaging it.

Yes…this means inserting your finger (or something) into his anus to directly stimulate the prostate.

We discuss prostate stimulation techniques in Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband.

Whaaaaaaaaat?

Yes, if you really want to show your husband intense pleasure, you may want to consider “option 2!”

Why wouldn’t you want to?

1) You think it’s “gross.”

If you don’t like the idea of stimulating his prostate with your fingers, there are a variety of “toys” specifically designed for prostate stimulation. One of the best is called Aneros.

2) You think it’s “gay.”

Well, this is just silly.

I sometimes receive emails from people that think any (male or female) anal stimulation implies some hint of homosexuality. These people usually use logic like, “Gay people do that!”

Well…I hate to break it to ya…but gay people also hold hands, kiss and watch movies together.

The fact that homosexuals may (or may not) do something does not make it “gay.” Having sex with someone of the same sex makes it gay.

3) You think it’s wrong.

Anal play is NOT specifically prohibited ANYWHERE in Scripture.

Most of the Christian “experts” that rail against anal sex (of any sort) usually fall back on the argument that “its just not natural.”

Well…the fact that God PURPOSEFULLY created the female G spot and the male prostate and then surrounded them with a super high number of “pleasure/nerve endings” tells me that utilizing/stimulating these areas is pretty darn…”natural.”

If you think it’s unnatural to stimulate the prostate…you either believe that God created a specific pleasure spot…that you AREN’T supposed to use for pleasure…or that he made a mistake in design.

The male g spot (The “M spot”) is an area that you, as a couple, may want to explore.

Unless, of course, you have too much variety and pleasure in your sex life…and you don’t need any more.

Posted: May 13th, 2008 under Uncategorized.
Comments: 1

I seem to have book marked a few Mark Driscoll Videos this week.

Mark is the founder and current “Preaching Pastor ” at Mars Hill Church in Seattle.

Mars Hill is considered one of the new “mega churches” and is unique in that, despite it’s ultra “hip” approach to presentation, its message is very “old school” conservative (can you say ‘Five Points of Calvinism?’).

Several times per month, they have a service in which Driscoll answers questions from the audience (sent via text message).

In the following video, Mark addresses the question, “Is it okay to read books about how to better pleasure my spouse?”

As you would imagine, its a question after my own heart…

In the video, Mark mentions several great resources for those looking for Christian sex advice.

Additionally (hint, hint), you may want to consider Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband and Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife.

Enjoy…

Posted: May 6th, 2008 under Uncategorized, Christian Sex, Christian Sex Advice.
Comments: 1

We are proud to announce that we were chosen to be “Featured Publishers” in the TrialPay network.

TrialPay is one of the smartest ideas to hit the Internet since AChristianSexSite.com!

It is a NON SCAM, real way for you to get FREE stuff…just for doing what you are ALREADY doing.

You are probably already signing up for information/promotions or buying via the Internet…for the products/services that are important to you.

Now…you can get FREE products just for doing those same things through TrialPay!

Follow THIS LINK and register to view TrialPay’s offerings.

If you find something that interests you (it might be a FREE offer, as well), TrialPay will pay for your purchase of ANY of our books!

Just choose the book that you are interested in having, and click on the TrialPay button next to that book…the rest is quick and easy.

If you don’t find anything you are interested in, there is no further obligation.

Posted: April 11th, 2008 under Uncategorized.
Comments: none

A few weeks ago, I put up a post regarding masturbation (here).I received more feedback on that post than most any other I can remember. And, as I mentioned before, it was almost 100% positive.

I received several emails from Christian Pastors and counselors asking permission to use the post in their work.

I don’t mention the above to brag (although it is not beyond me to do so). I mention it for two reasons:

1) I am thrilled that most of our readers must be inclined to be open minded about such things.
2) I don’t feel that my opinions on this topic are far from the Christian mainstream.

But, in the past week or so, I have started to receive emails that felt that my opinions on this topic may be leading my brothers and sisters “into sin.”

So, one more post on this topic…

Last night, I was finishing up my “John Adams” marathon. “John Adams” is the movie version of the recent best seller about one of the founders of our country, John Adams.

If you have not watched it yet, I highly recommend it.

One of the most interesting aspects of last night’s episode was watching how, from the very beginning, our country was divided into two basic “parties:” the “federalists” that felt that humans needed strict laws and a strong central government and the “republicans” that were more inclined to trust individuals and individual liberty. The federalists (John Adams) felt that without many rules, there would be anarchy. The republicans (Thomas Jefferson) trusted that humans were capable of good, without oppressive rules or government.

In their ways, both approaches were necessary and correct. But, our personal experiences and personalities would incline us to side with one or the other (Adams or Jefferson), emotionally.

Similarly, with a topic such as masturbation (and most other “sexually related subjects), Christians tend to fall into two general “parties,” (focus on rules/laws or focus on Christian liberty) based upon their experiences and personalities.

And, neither is inherently right or wrong.

But, I must admit that I would have sided with Jefferson. And, I usually focus more on Christian liberty than I do parsing “the rules.”

You need to know this about me to decide if, on some subjects, you want to take my opinions with a grain of salt.

That being said, in my post, I based my opinions regarding masturbation on what I feel are the “bottom line” issues: What does Scripture say about the matter? And, what do smarter theologians than me say about the topic?

But, not all of our brothers and sisters would base their approach to masturbation (or any other sexual issue) ONLY on my criteria.

Many of our readers are Catholic. They, additionally, would factor in what “The Church” has to say on sexual issues.

One of my best friends is Greek Orthodox. He would, additionally, factor in “tradition” and the writings of “The Church Fathers.”

In Romans 14, Paul talks about how we are to deal with “debatable” issues (issues that are not clearly spelled out in Scripture). Essentially, he says, “Try not to act in ways that will cause your brother to stumble (sin), but, also don’t pass judgment on your brothers and sisters if they are doing (debatable) things that you are not comfortable with.”

With masturbation (as well as most topics discussed in this blog), I try to take this approach…and suggest that you consider it, as well.

I would never encourage any of you to do anything that you feel “convicted” about doing (including masturbation).

But, I also would not condemn a fellow brother or sister for doing something that I, personally, feel is “off limits” to me.

With “debatable” issues, only God can judge and we should refrain from either causing our brothers and sisters to stumble…or weighing them down with our own “party” opinions.

Posted: April 9th, 2008 under Uncategorized, christian masturbation.
Comments: none

Last week, in our “Christian Marriage Secrets Newsletter,” I mentioned that we were putting the finishing touches on a ew book, “Sexual Fun And Games For Christian Couples,” a sexual games and ideas resource.

Soon after, we received several emails from readers that were “concerned” that we would be writing and offering such book.

These individuals felt that there was no place in Christian marriage for this type of resource.

So, before we officially start offering this new book (we are pre-launching this book with a special discount offer tomorrow, February 29th), I thought it would be appropriate to explain why we developed this resource and why we are very excited and proud to be offering it to our readers…

THOUSANDS OF READERS HAVE REQUESTED IT:

Most of our readers and web visitors were introduced to our ministry through our original sex guides, Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband and Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife.

These guides are considered (by many…even outside of the Irwin family) to be the standard in basic sexual education for Christian couples.

In these guides, Christian husbands and wives can discover and explore the “technical” aspects necessary to creating a positive and mutually-satisfying sexual relationship.

Without this “technical” knowledge, it would be difficult for any couple to easily achieve sexual satisfaction. In these guides, we teach couples “how to ride the bike” of marital sexuality without frustration or hitting the curb (wow…really stretching that analogy!).

But, once you know how to “ride the bike,” without falling over, you want to know how to make bike riding enjoyable, fun and interesting…for a lifetime. Riding your bike in circles in your driveway might be fun…for awhile…but, sooner or later, most will want to venture out of the
driveway.

After our readers have mastered the basic, “technical” skills of great marital sex, they then start looking for ways to make their sex lives enjoyable, fun and interesting…for a lifetime. They (I’m not giving up on this analogy) want to know how to “pop wheelies” and how to make
their “married sex biking” more exciting (suggestion: put cards in the spokes to make it sound like a motorcycle).

So, we have received, literally, thousands of requests from Christian couples that are looking for ideas, tricks, tips, suggestions on how to “spice up” their sex lives…for the long term.

WE LIKE THIS PART OF OUR JOB:

Putting together this new book was a total joy for me and Susan.

As much as we enjoy helping couples to learn “the basics” and to overcome sexual problems and limitations, there is a special pleasure in helping other Christian couples to make their sex lives truly fun and exciting.

Creating and offering this type of resource is EXACTLY what our ministry is all about: offering tangible, creative and
REAL information that will help Christian couples to make the sex in their marriages a positive, relationship-bonding and strengthening experience.

This book does exactly that.

It is filled with hundreds of ideas for stoking the fire of your marriage’s sexual relationship.

THIS IS HOW SEX IN A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE SHOULD BE:

C.S. Lewis wrote, in his book The Four Loves, “Sex that is too serious is deprived of the romp and fun that is essential to a healthy enjoyment of sex.”

Lewis Smedes, professor of theology at Fuller Seminary once said, “God made us body people. Bodies are meant to play and-we can add-to be played with.”

We titled this book “Sexual Fun And Games For Christian Couples” for a reason. We want to actively promote the “fun” and “playful” aspects of sex within Christian marriage.

If you have been one of our readers or visitors for any length of time, you know that one of our main goals is to destroy the dangerous and wrong notion that God intended sex to be anything less than this.

This book is a resource for sexual exploration.

What does it mean to be a sensual, yet holy, sexual explorer?

Our best Scriptural reference for sexual exploration is the Song of Solomon.

The Song of Solomon (SOS) is a beautiful and explicit description of the sexual relationship between Solomon and his new bride.

What does Scripture tell us about their journey of sexual exploration?

THEY WERE RESPONSIVE TO EACH OTHER’S SEXUAL NEEDS…

“Make my garden breathe out fragrance, let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits!” (4:16)

THEY WERE ADVENTUROUS…

“Come my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages. Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see whether the vine hath budded, and its blossom is open, and the pomegranates are in the flower: there will I give thee my love.” (7:11-12)

THEY WERE UNINHIBITED…

She tells her husband exactly how to make love to her and dances provocatively for him.

“Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; Blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his precious fruits.” (2:6)

“How beautiful are thy feet in sandals, O prince’s daughter! Thy rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a skilful workman. Thy body is like a round goblet, wherein no mingled wine is wanting: Thy waist is like a heap of wheat set about with lilies. Thy two breasts are like two fawns that are twins of a roe.” (7:1-3)

THEY WERE EXPRESSIVE…

They were not afraid to express their love and passion, verbally.

“My beloved is mine and I am his.” (2:16)

“Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men.” (2:3)

THEY WERE SENSOUS…

“My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand…His head is as the most fine gold; His locks are bushy, and black as a raven… His eyes are like doves beside the water-brooks, Washed with milk, and fitly set… His cheeks are as a bed of spices, As banks of sweet herbs:
His lips are as lilies, dropping liquid myrrh… His hands are as rings of gold set with beryl: His body is as ivory work overlaid with sapphires… His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: His aspect is like Lebanon, excellent as the cedars…His mouth is most sweet; Yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem…” (5:10-16)

As all of this physical, sensual activity is taking place, God Himself is in the room observing.

And, his verdict is one of approval. He states, emphatically, “Eat friends, drink and imbibe deeply, O Lovers!” (5:1)

Drs. Dan Allender and Tremper Longman, in their book, Intimate Allies, say, “A taste of God is found in sexual foreplay, heightened arousal, orgasm and quiescence.”

THEY WERE CREATIVE…

You need to look no further than SOS to find creative ideas for “spicing up” your sex life. Just follow it’s example.

They made creative use of fragrance.

“My lover is to me a cluster of henna blossoms from the vineyards of En Gedi.” (1:14)

They made creative use of words.

“How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. Beloved…How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant.” (1:15-16)

They made creative use of names.

“Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.” (2:3)

“You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain…

…Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits, with henna and nard…

…nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with every kind of incense tree, with myrrh and aloes and all the finest
spices…

…You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon.” (4:12-15)

They made creative use of dance.

“Come back, come back, O Shulammite; come back, come back, that we may gaze on you! Why would you gaze on the Shulammite as on the dance of Mahanaim?” (6:13)
“How beautiful your sandaled feet, O prince’s daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of a craftsman’s hands. Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies.” (7:1-2)

Becoming a sexual explorer means that you have no fear about exploring all angles of your (and your spouse’s) sexuality.

“Sexual Fun And Games For Christian Couples” will be the resource that provides HUNDREDS of creative ideas, questions, scenarios and suggestions for bringing all of the above to your married sex life.

And, you can get your personal copy…and save $20.00 during our Pre-Launch Introduction Discount Offer!

If you want to make this coming weekend (or any weekend) especially exciting, this could be the perfect offer for you.

Just keep on eye on your inbox (and this blog) for tomorrow’s note detailing the offer…

Posted: February 28th, 2008 under Uncategorized.
Comments: none

As a special bonus to subscribers to our “Christian Marriage
Secrets” newsletter, we occasionally offer very
limited-time special offers.

For the next 24 hours, you can download the entire
“Ultimate Christian Sex Library” for only $39.00!

Purchased separately, the entire library sells for over
$130.00.

It includes:
-Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband
-Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife
-When Your Husband Is Never In The Mood
-She Loves God, Sex & Me
-101 Creative Lovemaking Ideas
-101 Romantic Ideas
-The Ultimate Christian Guide To The G-Spot Site
Subscription
-Sexy Coupons

PLUS…if you order during this limited-time offer, you
will ALSO receive a copy of our “Tastefully Illustrated
Sexual Positions For Christian Couples,” a $37.00 value, as
well!

If you have been “on the fence” about trying the secrets in
our library, NOW is the time to give them a try.

It has been quite some time since we offered a discount on
the library and it may be quite some time till we do again.

All orders absolutely must be received by Tuesday, February
26th at Noon (EST).

You can take advantage of this (extremely) limited-time
offer at:

www.achristiansexsite.com/24hourspecial/index.html

Wishing you passion in all,

Robert Irwin

Posted: February 25th, 2008 under Uncategorized, Christian Sex, Christian Sex Advice, christian sex books.
Comments: none

One of the predictable downsides of any “holiday” is that the pressure to fulfill our own (and society’s) expectations for the holiday turns something potentially positive into a negative.

And, Valentine’s Day is no different…

In addition to the wonderful stories that we received about how Valentine’s Day was an opportunity for many couples to express their love for each other, we also received quite a few emails from people that found the whole “Valentine’s Day thing” to be a painful experience.

They experienced pain because their reality during this “romantic holiday” was far from what they had hoped and wished for.

If they were single, they longed for the love that “everyone else” was (supposedly) experiencing.

If they were married, their spouse’s actions (or lack of actions) during this holiday left them feeling somewhat disappointed and depressed.

Overall, the feeling that was most expressed was of loneliness.

Feeling “alone” is one of the toughest emotions to deal with.

And, as Christians, we sometimes exasperate this problem because we (wrongly) give too much weight to the emotional “feelings” that surround loneliness.

We believe that our feeling of being alone means that we ARE alone.

For those of you that are dealing with feeling alone right now, we want to encourage you by reminding you that you are never alone…no matter how you “feel” right now.

One of the most beautiful parts of the Christ story is that Jesus experienced EVERYTHING that we, as humans, experience.

And, this includes loneliness.

On the cross, Jesus screams, “Why have you forsaken me?” In Scriptures, forsaken is the word that means abandoned, deserted, left behind. (Matthew 27:46).

Jesus also faced feeling loneliness.

But, we know that God did not abandon Jesus. And, he has not abandoned you.

In fact, one of the clearest and most repeated themes that Jesus expresses is that we are never alone…because he will is always with us.

In Hebrews 13:5, he says, “I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU.”

Once saved, we are always his (John 10:28-29).

The God of the universe has made his home in our very hearts (John 14:23).

As are shepherd, he will never leave his sheep (Psalm 23:4).

The real “trick” is to consciously IGNORE your feelings in this matter.

God is with you. You are NOT alone…no matter how you “feel.”

One of my daughter’s favorite Christian bands is a group called “Barlow Girl.”

One of their songs deals with this issue in a very powerful way. It is called, “Never Alone.”

In my opinion, it expresses a mature and faithful way for us to deal with feeling alone. It basically says, “no matter how I feel, I know God is with me.”

The lyrics are…

I waited for you today
But you didn’t show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You’d be there
And though I haven’t seen You
Are You still there?

[Chorus:]
I cried out with no reply
And I can’t feel You by my side
So I’ll hold tight to what I know
You’re here and I”m never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can’t explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You’ve placed in my life

We cannot separate
‘Cause You’re part of me
And though You’re invisible
I’ll trust the unseen

I encourage you to trust God that he is with you…no matter how my may be feeling.

The video is below.

Posted: February 18th, 2008 under Uncategorized, Christian Romance, Christian Culture.
Comments: none

Finally…A Tastefully Illustrated Sexual Positions Guide For Christian Couples…

We have received thousands of requests for recommendations of a “non pornographic” guide to sexual positions.

Unfortunately, until now, there were very few, if any, resources to recommend.

The vast majority of sexual position guides are illustrated with photos of couples…um…having sex.

And the few guides that were illustrated in a non-pornographic manner were surrounded by advertisements for semi-pornographic products or web sites.

Certainly, there were no sexual position guides for Christian couples that you could consider not only tasteful…but actually artistically and beautifully presented.

So…

We created the perfect sexual positions guide for Christian couples…from scratch…

We researched hundreds of sexual position guides to find the most exciting, newest positions.

But, unlike most sexual positions guides, we did not duplicate similar positions to give the appearance of hundreds of positions. We listed only those positions that were truly different and we included only those positions that we were physically (and morally) possible for the vast majority of our readers to accomplish.

Then…we hired a Christian artist to render these positions in an artistically pleasing way…sketched in graphic pen.

Our primary request of this artist was that the illustrations in this guide be tasteful and non-pornographic…yet clearly demonstrate enough information to give you the chance to try the positions for yourself…

This is a guide that you will treasure as a valuable resource in your library for years to come.

It will provide you and your spouse with hundreds of nights of fun trying to replicate the positions you find in this guide.

But…you will never be embarrassed by feeling like you are viewing something pornographic. All images are tastefully done (and non-pornographic) like the following…

As you can see, the illustrations are artistic and tasteful…but anything but pornographic…finally!

Plus…we went the extra step of describing for you EXACTLY HOW to perform each position…

This is something that MOST other guides don’t bother to do; they assume that you will (somehow) know what to do…just by looking at the pictures of each position. If you have seen most of these guides, you know this is NOT reality. It may not be rocket science…but, with many positions, you need a clear explanation of the goal you are attempting to achieve…as well as a picture.

24 Hour Valentine’s Day Special Introductory Offer:
Order by Noon, February 15th (EST) And Save $20.00!
Click Here For Details

Posted: February 14th, 2008 under Uncategorized.
Comments: none

John Gray is the author of “Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus.”

Below he talks about “How Men Communicate.”

It is a great explanation of “the power of the little things.”

And, after watching it, you might want to re-check out yesterday’s recommended resource, “300 Creative Dates.” It is filled with tons of cheap, creative ways to score points in “the little things…”

Enjoy.

Posted: January 25th, 2008 under Uncategorized.
Comments: none

About.com has posted an article regarding the sexual benefits of exercise.

As much as I try to ignore any articles that talk about exercise, I agree with it’s premises.

You can read the entire article here.

Highlights…

-Exercise Improves Sexual Performance

-Exercise Means More Sex

-Exercise Helps Sexual Aging

-Reduces Erectile Dysfunction

-Gives an Endorphin Release

-Exercise Adds Options to your sex life.

-The Bottom Line: if better health isn’t enough motivation to get you into the gym or out for a run, maybe better sex will be. Use the information here to inspire yourself to increase your fitness and just watch what may happen to your sex life.

Posted: January 21st, 2008 under Uncategorized, Christian Sex, Christian Sex Advice.
Comments: none