Today, a few comments on your comments…
Recently, Bubba provided the following comment on our posting of the “Kama Sutra” teddy bear video:
I’m concerned about the “Big Ted and Little Ted” video that was shared. It was pointed out to me by my wife that with the title it seemed more homosexual in nature. I don’t think I would have used the video especially considering the source. Something to think about, the choice is yours…
First, it is important to make it clear that I sincerely respect the strongly held convictions of all fellow brothers and sisters. I understand that, even within the body of Christ, good Christians can disagree over issues. I mean no derision or disrespect to Bubba. But…
Part of the reason that I posted the video was because I knew that I might be “pushing the envelope” (however slightly) of some of our more conservative readers. And, I believe that it is my job to do that occasionally. Within its proper context, sex should not be off limits as a point of humor-even for Christians. And…they were Teddy bears! If you could watch that video (especially with the sexy music in the background) and not chuckle a little, YOU NEED to lighten up a bit.
I understand that Bubba’s complaint was his perception that the video might (in some way) be a “tool of the homosexual agenda” and that I should have better considered “the source.”
Honestly, it was only after posting the video that I realized that the bears were named “Big Ted” and “Little Ted.” But, even after that realization, I reasoned that, technically, ALL TEDDY BEARS ARE NAMED TED!
I have no idea the “source” of the video. It was not referenced where I found it. But, no matter “the source,” it was just a cute, funny little video. I don’t believe that it was a tool for promoting anything other than a laugh.
Which reminds me of a recent sermon by my pastor…
He talked about how there are “sins of commission” and “sins of omission” and that too many Christians spend way too much time focusing on the former and ignoring the latter.
Our “average” blog reader is a middle-aged, married Christian. They are not looking for us to enlighten them on the sins of homosexuality; we all agree that, according to Scripture, it is a sin. They are looking for direction in taking pro-active, positive and direct action to improve and make their Christian marriage stronger and more fulfilling.
I suppose that there is a place for individuals/blogs that crusade “against” certain types of sin. This is not that type of blog. This blog is focused on helping you to not create “sins of omission” in your marriage. Too many Christians spend way too much time focusing on what others are doing wrong and forget to focus on what they might not be doing…in their
own marriage. As Scripture says, “If you speak with the tongues of angels…” it will mean NOTHING if you don’t have LOVE (within your marriage).
We only have so much time, energy and intelligence to invest. We HAVE to actively decide on WHAT we are going to focus.
Do you choose to focus on what others are doing (wrong)? Or have you decided on focusing on what you aren’t yet doing (completely) right? Which focus do you think will have the greater benefit to you, your marriage, children and neighbors?
Wow! That turned into a full-fledged rant.
Tanja made the following comments on my post regarding “Tantric sex”…
I find it interesting that you site great sex is achieved through technical knowledge. AS a sexuality teacher I have to say you are wrong. IF that’s all it took most people would be having that kind of sex.
Since others may have misread my comments, as well…
I DO NOT believe that “great sex” is achieved only through technical knowledge. But, first, you must define “great sex.”
In my definition, “great sex” is intense, mind-blowing physical sensations that take place within the context of a Christian marriage relationship. But, “great sex” is NOT just the achievement of physical pleasure. It is also the use of sex in a way that bonds two souls in a way that no other human activity can. And, “great sex” (physically and metaphorically) reminds us of our “bride and groom” relationship with God. It is a little earthly glimpse of the ecstasy, joy and love that awaits us in eternity. IT IS NOT just multiple orgasms!
I agree that just “technical” knowledge is useless if your relationship is not solid. If you have read this blog for any period of time, you know that one of our maxims is…”Most sex problems have nothing to do with sex; they are relationship problems.”
In my experience, most people with technical sexual knowledge that aren’t experiencing “great sex” have relationship issues.
I do believe that the “technical” information found in our Christian sex guides (and many others by Christian authors) is CRITICAL, though, because, at base, successful sex (physically) is a matter of “technical” knowledge. In some early sexuality studies, doctors were amazed to find out that 90% of women thought to be “frigid” or “anorgasmic” were able to reach orgasm through mechanical stimulation via vibrators. They weren’t suffering from some deep emotional/spiritual deficit; they (and their husbands) didn’t understand the basic techniques necessary to achieve great (physical) sex. It isn’t rocket science! On many levels, God made our sexual capabilities very simple. But, some people lack even the basic technical knowledge.
Connected spiritual sex takes way more than technique. It takes a knowledge of being intimate, it takes an ability to see the holiness in your self and partner. That isn’t achieved with sexual technique.
Again, on this point, we agree. God first. Marriage second. Sex third. But, my problem with most Tantric “resources” is that their definitions of “holiness” and “intimacy” are tied to Eastern mystical concepts that differ greatly with the average Christian’s understanding of God and Jesus.
True Tantra, which has been watered down and changed to suit westerns, is a life philosophy, not religion, which teaches connection to self and God.
I think you are doing your readers a diservice by not providing accurate information on this topic. I will agree that there are very few teachers that are qualified to teach Tantra in a way isnt new age mumbo jumbo, but then again they aren’t teaching Tantra they are teaching sex with some techniques taken from Tantra and Taoism, which, incidentally, are the techinques you have used.
As with my example of my Tae Kwon Do experience, I am not afraid to “pick and choose” the secular concepts and benefits that “just happen” to have primarily originated in ancient Eastern philosophies.
I like the basic concept of “The Tao.” I like the idea that we should be aware of the positive/negative, good/bad in every situation. I specifically find the male/female concept helpful as we consider that we have both male and female aspects to our deepest selves. Knowing this helps us to better understand both ourselves and our spouses. But…
As Christians, we DO NOT believe many of the fundamental concepts taught in many “Tantra” or “Tantric” sources. We ARE NOT the same as God. We are not ONE WITH GOD in the sense that WE ARE God or that EVERYTHING IS
GOD. These are fundamental differences in belief, not small issues.
So, my “real” issue with most Tantric or Tantra resources is that they are redundant and unnecessary for Christians. For most of us, it is difficult enough to know what God and our spouse expects. We don’t have the time and energy to “pick and choose” what is good and bad from “Tantric” or “Tantra” resources.
Posted: March 23rd, 2007 under Christian Sex, Kama Sutra, Sex Positions, Tantric Sex, Tantra Sex.
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