A local ABC affiliate did an interview with Joe Beam, one of the most well-spoken advocates of better Christian marriages and better Christian married sex.
“I get questions about oral sex, pornography, foreplay, everything you can imagine. People ask and I blatantly answer them. Some Christian people are amazed that my answers are what they are because its not what they’ve been taught all their lives,” Beam told CBS4’s Joy Purdy.
Beam believes he’s taking Christian sex education to the next level in terms of right, wrong and what the Bible says is allowable or not.
Statistics show that 20% of married couples have sex just 10 times a year or less, and Beam believes that is an indication there is a lot of sexual misery between couples.
The minister left his home church to fill churches nationwide with curious couples, eager to hear what Beam interprets the bible to say about sex, love and marriage.
“Now I want you to see this is in the Bible; I am not making this up,” Beam said in one of his presentations. “If a person is not sexually satisfied they become susceptible to outside temptation.”
There are no boundaries for those who attend Beam’s seminars. The audience can even secretly write questions for Beam and he in turn, answers them all.
Minister Beam covers many taboo issues in his seminars that many Christians have become accustomed to being ashamed of.
For example, said Beam at one seminar, the Bible actually says nothing about the use of vibrators and in fact, he encouraged the audience to play games with each other, with or without mechanical aids. “There’s nothing in the bible that says anything about masturbation,” he said.
Joe Beam runs a marriage and family ministry called Family Dynamics at which you can find free articles and resources for your marriage.
You can watch him interviewed on The Montel Williams show below.
My favorite quote (and the idea I find most true in our experience with troubled marriages):
Give your spouse permission to tell you the truth…it will change everything.
The three keys to love are intimacy, passion and committment…Most people don’t have deep levels of intimacy because they are afraid to tell/hear the truth.
*Some visitors have asked me to reproduce this post on one of our “less sex related sites” so that the link could be forwarded to family and friends without fear of “burning their eyes” with the sexual content of this site. You can find a mirror of this post on our MyChristianMarriage.net site here.
The following post is, essentially, a political endorsement.
I struggled for several months about whether I should make this post.
I know that my visitors come to this blog to gather information that will help them to make their Christian marriages happier, more fulfilling and long-lasting…not to hear my political opinion.
But, I believe that the following post is relevant to Christian families and the environment within our country in which they exist.
If you couldn’t care less who I am endorsing for President in this upcoming election, you can skip today’s post. I’ll look forward to seeing you here next post. If you care (even a little), please consider the following:
Last week, my father and I were discussing politics and he made reference to Luther’s statement, “I’d rather be ruled by a competent Turk than an incompetent Christian.”
He referenced this particular quote because, in his opinion, as Christians, we are faced with a crop of Presidential candidates that forces us to choose “the lesser of two evils.”
With the vast majority of the current candidates (Republican or Democratic), you have to “hold your nose” as you vote for them because you have to ignore one of the following:
-Their current positions on issues important to most Christians (i.e. abortion or gay marriage).
-The disconnect between their support of “family values” and their personal lives (multiple, documented affairs and divorces)
-The disconnect between their current (while running as a Presidential candidate) positions and their past positions and voting records.
In the past few months, I have discovered a candidate that will allow me, as a Christian husband and father, to vote with my nostrils fully open.
His name is Ron Paul and he is currently running as a Republican candidate for President.
Ron Paul not only declares his faith in Christ, he has an unblemished seventy-one year history of demonstrating his faith; you will not find a trail of “dirty laundry” anywhere to be found on this candidate.
An excerpt from his “Statement of Faith”…
We live in times of great uncertainty when men of faith must stand up for our values and our traditions lest they be washed away in a sea of fear and relativism. As you likely know, I am running for President of the United States, and I am asking for your support.
I have never been one who is comfortable talking about my faith in the political arena. In fact, the pandering that typically occurs in the election season I find to be distasteful. But for those who have asked, I freely confess that Jesus Christ is my personal Savior, and that I seek His guidance in all that I do. I know, as you do, that our freedoms come not from man, but from God. My record of public service reflects my reverence for the Natural Rights with which we have been endowed by a loving Creator.
I have worked tirelessly to defend and restore those rights for all Americans, born and unborn alike. The right of an innocent, unborn child to life is at the heart of the American ideal of liberty. My professional and legislative record demonstrates my strong commitment to this pro-life principle.
In 40 years of medical practice, I never once considered performing an abortion, nor did I ever find abortion necessary to save the life of a pregnant woman. In Congress, I have authored legislation that seeks to define life as beginning at conception, H.R. 1094. I am also the prime sponsor of H.R. 300, which would negate the effect of Roe v Wade by removing the ability of federal courts to interfere with state legislation to protect life. This is a practical, direct approach to ending federal court tyranny which threatens our constitutional republic and has caused the deaths of 45 million of the unborn. I have also authored H.R. 1095, which prevents federal funds to be used for so-called “population control.” Many talk about being pro-life. I have taken and will continue to advocate direct action to restore protection for the unborn.
I have also acted to protect the lives of Americans by my adherence to the doctrine of “just war.” This doctrine, as articulated by Augustine, suggested that war must only be waged as a last resort— for a discernible moral and public good, with the right intentions, vetted through established legal authorities (a constitutionally required declaration of the Congress), and with a likely probability of success.
It has been and remains my firm belief that the current United Nations-mandated, no-win police action in Iraq fails to meet the high moral threshold required to wage just war. That is why I have offered moral and practical opposition to the invasion, occupation and social engineering police exercise now underway in Iraq. It is my belief, borne out by five years of abject failure and tens of thousands of lost lives, that the Iraq operation has been a dangerous diversion from the rightful and appropriate focus of our efforts to bring to justice to the jihadists that have attacked us and seek still to undermine our nation, our values, and our way of life.
Ron Paul has been married (to the same woman) for over fifty years and has raised five children and seventeen grandchildren.
Ron Paul is a Doctor of obstetrics and gynecology and has delivered more than 4,000 babies.
Because of his experience as an OBGYN, Ron Paul strongly feels that life begins at conception and is an active opponent of “Roe vs. Wade.”
Ron Paul served his country in the military. His medical training was interrupted when he was drafted during the Cuban Missile Crisis into the United States Air Force. He remained in the military during the early years of the Vietnam War. He was never sent to Vietnam, instead serving active duty (1963-1965) that took him to other countries, including South Korea, Iran, Ethiopia and Turkey. He served as a flight surgeon out of Kelly Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas from 1963 to 1965. He then served in the Air National Guard from 1965 to 1968 while completing his medical residency in Pittsburgh. He achieved rank of captain during his service in the Air Force. Consequently, he is a strong defender of our nation’s national security and the men and women in the military.
Ron Paul is the leading advocate for freedom in our nation’s capital.
As a member of the U.S. House of Representatives, Ron Paul tirelessly works for limited constitutional government, low taxes, free markets, and a return to sound monetary policies. He is known among his congressional colleagues and his constituents for his consistent voting record. Ron Paul never votes for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution. In the words of former Treasury Secretary William Simon, he is the “one exception to the Gang of 535” on Capitol Hill.
-He has never voted to raise taxes.
-He ACTIVELY proposes the elimination of the Federal Income Tax and the IRS
-He has never voted for an unbalanced budget.
-He has never voted for a federal restriction on gun ownership.
-He has never voted to raise congressional pay.
-He has never taken a government-paid junket.
-He has never voted to increase the power of the executive branch. -He is a staunch defender of our freedoms both on and off the Internet
He voted against the Patriot Act.
He voted against regulating the Internet.
He voted against the Iraq war.
He does not participate in the lucrative congressional pension program.
He returns a portion of his annual congressional office budget to the U.S. treasury every year.
While serving in Congress during the late 1970s and early 1980s, Ron Paul’s limited-government ideals were not popular in Washington. In 1976, he was one of only four Republican congressmen to endorse Ronald Reagan for president.
You’ll notice that EVERY Republican candidate is scrambling to align themselves with Ronald Reagan (despite their disassociation with his values or policies).
But, what did Ronald Reagan say about Ron Paul?
“Ron Paul is one of the outstanding leaders fighting for a stronger national defense…
…As a Former Air Force officer, he knows well the needs of your armed forces, and he always puts them first…
…We need to keep him fighting for our country…
Another colleague observed…
“There are few people in public life who, through thick and thin, rain or shine, stick to their principles. Ron Paul is one of those few.”
Why would you NOT vote for Dr. Ron Paul?
In my opinion, there are two reasons that a Christian might hesitate to vote for Dr. Paul; one is based on values/principles and one is based upon “strategic/political” motives.
The first, “values/principles issue” would be Dr. Paul’s stance on the war in Iraq.
His opponents would like you to believe that his stance on the war in Iraq comes from a position of weakness (i.e. he is “soft” on defense).
This is a mis-characterization of Dr. Paul’s position.
Dr. Paul supported our forays into Afghanistan (to find Bin Laden and his crew).
He opposed (and still opposes) the war in Iraq because it is an “undeclared” war that was not initiated according to the processes detailed in the Constitution; it was an unconstitutional overstep by the Executive branch (the President).
Ron Paul has no illusions relative to the potential threats and danger of global terror (Islamic or otherwise). But, he does not believe that our current efforts in Iraq are the proper utilization of our military resources.
According to most polls, almost 70% of our nation agrees that the current war in Iraq may not have been the most effective and efficient means of ensuring our true national defense and safety.
If you are one of the 30% of citizens that truly and absolutely feel that the war in Iraq is EXACTLY how we should be utilizing our financial and military assets, there is probably NOTHING I could do to convince you to consider Dr. Paul.
The “political/strategic” reason that you might hesitate to vote for Dr. Paul is that you worry you might be “wasting your vote” by voting for Dr. Paul instead of the candidate that you feel has a “real chance to win.”
I understand this concern. But, let me allay your fears relative to this concern…
Some people have compared Dr. Paul’s current popularity (do a Google search on “Ron Paul”) to the third party candidacy of Ross Perot in 1992. Many people blamed (and still blame) Ross Perot for taking votes away from George Bush and allowing Bill Clinton to be elected.
They would tell you that voting for Ron Paul might do the same in 2008 and (by default) that your vote for Ron Paul is, essentially, a vote for the Democratic front-runner.
This is not a valid analogy.
Ron Paul is a TEN TERM Republican.
He is running as a Republican.
If you vote for him and he wins…many political analysts have stated that he is the ONLY Republican candidate that has a real chance of beating the Democratic front runners.
In our “politically divided” country, both parties have a very solid minority of base voters that approaches 50%. Consequently, the “wins” generally go to who can bring in the independent/undecided/non-base voters “in the middle.”
Once you research Ron Paul’s base of support, you will discover that it is the most diverse (left/right, Republican/Democratic, Christian/Non-Christian) of any of the other candidates.
Ron Paul has already demonstrated his ability (if nominated as the Republican candidate) to gain support from the traditional Republican/conservative base…and he has the ability to draw in huge numbers of Democrats and Independents as well. He only needs 51% in the general election to win.
If you vote for him during the primaries and he does not win the nomination, you do NO damage to the eventual Republican front-runner.
Remember: Dr. Paul is running as a Republican. Your vote during primaries WILL NOT (in any way) affect the final outcome of the general election.
At worse, your vote for Dr. Paul, during the primaries, will serve to remind the eventual winner that they need to remember our values and concerns. You will be helping to improve the platform of the eventual winner. You will still have the opportunity (in the general elections) to vote for whomever you feel is “the best candidate still standing.”
For my readers that are not of the Republican persuasion, I want you to know that I am not “assuming” that, as a Christian, you should or will be voting Republican. I am simply addressing the fact that a large majority of my readers are of this persuasion…and they are worried that a vote for Dr. Paul might be a strategic/political mistake. I am not assuming that this persuasion is the best or most “Christian.” I think such an assumption would be “unChristian” and arrogant. To you, I think you will find that you have a surprising number of reasons to consider Dr. Paul; one of his fastest growing group of voters is Democrats and Independents.
Below you will find several videos regarding Dr. Ron Paul. I hope you find them interesting and inspiring.
If you want to learn more about Ron Paul’s positions, visit Ron Paul 2008.
If you would like to learn more about other Christians that are supporting Ron Paul, visit Christians For Ron Paul.
An initiative out of the Graduate School of Journalism at UC Berkeley has launched a site that deals with sex and religion…specifically where the two intersect.
I know nothing about the back round of this initiative or it’s participants.
What they say about themselves…
Stories about religion are too often framed around conflict and controversy, culture wars and holy wars. We want to tell another story – the lived experience of people’s faith.We are a team of journalists…exploring “God, Sex and Family.” That’s where choices about marriage, dating, the building of community, family and faith play out in private life.
Part of their site is what they call “The Moral Compass.” It is an interactive “roulette wheel like” graphic that will give you the theological positions of various world religions relative to various sexual practices.
I enjoyed spinning the wheel. I bet you learn something about your denomination’s theology relative to sexuality.
The “Onion” (www.theonion.com) is, in my opinion the greatest newspaper in the world.
It is (supposedly) only “satire” but I still like it better than most other news sources. It almost never fails to cause me to laugh out loud.
Last week, it printed an article titled, “Longtime Married Couple Subjected To Excruciating ‘Romantic Weekend Getaway.”
“KENOSHA, WI—Sources report that longtime married couple Duane and Edna Schumacher’s weekend stay at Chicago’s FantasyLand Suites was a grueling ordeal of unwelcome interruptions to their long-established marital routine…”
Unfortunately, the attitudes expressed in this article are not that different from those of many of the Christian married couples that we interact with each week.
My favorite lines…
The Schumachers said the unbearable ordeal began at check-in, when the reservations clerk handed the couple their keys, winked, and said, “Enjoy your stay.” From that moment forth, virtually everything that occurred during the weekend induced cringes and winces from the aging pair.
“I love Edna, and I enjoy spending time with her,” Duane, 58, said. “But when you’re at that place, wherever you go, you know that the staff thinks you’re either just coming from, or on your way to, having sex. I don’t care for that kind of attention…We’ve been married for 30 years. There comes a point in a man and woman’s life when you’re happy just to get a good night’s sleep,”
This is a “pre-launch” because we are still adding moderators and working out some of the technical bugs.
Our ultimate goal with this site is to create the largest, free Christian marriage community on the Internet.
Before you visit, though, I wanted to answer a few questions that we have received regarding these forums…
-Unlike our other sites, they are NOT primarily focused on sex or sexual issues. They are intended to be a valuable resource for ALL aspects of your Christian marriage. Although we will help to moderate the sex related forums, we will be only TWO of MANY moderators.
-For the next few weeks, the forums will look BARE; you are witnessing and participating in the very beginning of this site. Please don’t let this stop you from posting or responding. WE NEED YOUR HELP and willingness to participate if we are ALL going to make this a successful and valuable resource for Christian married people.
Please take a look around the forums AND POST.
Thank you, in advance, for your participation.
Our prayers and hopes are that, in a very short time, these forums will be a significant resource for all Christian married people.
Below is the trailer for an important recent film, “Soulmate.”
This film is a documentary by writer-producer-director Andrea Wiley.
“Soulmate” explores the issues that are faced by modern black women. It takes an intimate look at the lives of accomplished, professional Black women who are finding purpose while single and offers practical advice from some of the nation’s leading Christian leaders.
It is difficult to find a good, Christian relationship. It is (statistically) almost impossible for many black women. According to the statistics on the film’s website, www.soulmatefilm.com, 42.3% of black women have never been married and according to recent U.S. statistics, 70% of all black women are now single.
Andrea says, about her film…
“My hope and prayer, always, is that ‘Soulmate’ will serve as a change agent in the lives of those who see it… I hope the testimonies of women in this film will inspire people to examine their spiritual lives, move beyond the traps that singleness sometimes creates for those who wish to be married and find wholeness in an intimate relationship with God.”
There is an article on www.catholic.org
that documents a positive trend…movies with positive, family-oriented and/or
Christian themes outsell movies with explicit sex and extreme language.
It quotes a study by Ted Baehr’s MovieGuide:
A study carried out by Ted Baehr, publisher of MovieGuide, a publication that
rates movies from a Christian point of view, looked at the top movies from 1998
through 2006. The report shows that films with a strong Christian worldview make
anywhere from two to seven times more in ticket sales than those with explicit
sex and nudity.
Recent successful movies such as “The Passion Of The Christ” and “The
Chronicles of Narnia” have moved Hollywood to re-organize and invest heavily in
Christian and family-oriented movie studios and films.
In my humble opinion, this new trend provides us with another opportunity to
move from the purely negative (moaning and complaining about Hollywood’s low
moral values) to the truly positive; we can vote to continue and expand this
trend with our entertainment dollars.
When there is a movie that has been clearly targeted at the family market and
attempts to provide solid entertainment without graphic sexuality or extreme
language, we need to throw the entire family into the car and go to see these
movies.
This new trend does not mean that Hollywood cares about our values; they only
care about profits. But, if we help to make these types of positive movies
profitable, we can ensure that they continue to be made.
We are proud to announce that we have put together a partnership with one of the premier Christian Sex Products sites, My Beloved’s Garden.Until recently, it was very difficult to shop online for fun sex toys and products without being assaulted by pornographic images or content.
My Beloved’s Garden provides a wonderful service; it provides marital aids and toys within a safe, non-pornographic environment. Although you will find many fun products for your marital play, you will not find anything degrading, pornographic or objectionable to your Christian beliefs.
The owners of My Beloved’s Garden are a Christian couple that is dedicated to offering other Christian couples great products, superior customer service and an overall supportive environment for your Christian beliefs.
If you are interested seeing what they offer, you can find them at My Beloved’s Garden.
“…we are discovering a deep connection through sex…”
Hey Robert,
Your interview will be published in a book I am writing called What You Didnt Learn From Your Parents About SexA Guide To A Touchy Subject. It will appear in the section called What You Need To Know About Sex Before You Get Married…
…Also, thank you for writing such a frank book about sex. Ive only been married for a little more than a year and your book has truly helped me see me and my wifes sex life as a journey. Slowly but surely, we are discovering a deep connection through sex. And your wisdom and research has certainly been a part of that growth process.
Did you see your mention in Details magazine last month? I thought that was awesome. (I may have mentioned that you before.) I think you should be on Oprah. If you need a cheerleader, let me know.
