There is a new men’s group called “God Men.”

It was co-founded by Paul Coughlin, Christian author, and Brad Stine, Christian Comedian.

It’s mission is to reach those men that have been discouraged or uninspired by the church’s (by a vast majority) acceptance of the need to feminize men.

They mention the fact that only 40% of regular church attenders are men.

They believe that this disparity in attendance is partially caused by the fact that men are simply not attracted to the modern church’s message that men need to “check their masculinity at the door” to be good Christians.

They discuss the fact that most churches focus only on the “nice” side of Jesus’ personality…”Jesus meek and mild.” They describe this picture of Jesus as being simply “a bearded lady.”

They contend that if you look at the whole picture of Jesus presented in Scripture, you will see that there was a large part of Jesus’ personality and actions that were far from this sweet, nice and feminine stereotype.

Although Jesus was submissive and meek towards God’s will, he was far from submissive and meek towards man’s will…or the religious authorities of his day. As Brad Stine mentions, Jesus’ whipping of the merchants in the temple would be considered “assault and battery” in our current society.

I happen to agree wholeheartedly.

I have also seen the negative effects that this “feminization” of men can have both on men and on their marriages…especially sexually.

Marriages and married sex lives are vibrant, active and growing ONLY when the husband and wife are both fully individual in their respective masculinity and femininity AND using these opposing attributes to create “a sum that is greater than the parts.”

If you are a long-time reader, you know that Susan and I are staunch advocates for Christian women; we fully believe that women are not meant to be “second class citizens” within their marriage. But, that stance, in today’s society is easy; it is the politically correct stance. Insisting that “men should be men” and assert their masculinity is now (somehow) unique and “shocking.”

If you are looking for more information about better integrating your masculinity with your faith, I highly recommend that you check out God Men.

If you are looking for ways to better express your masculinity through your sexuality, I suggest Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband.

Below is a video about the God Men movement.

Posted: November 8th, 2007 under Male Sexuality, Christian Husbands.
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Below is a video by sexologist June Machover Reinisch, Ph.D..

Dr. Reinisch is not (as far as I know) a Christian counselor, but she is a well-known and technically-sound resource for issues of sexuality.

In this video, she discusses the myth that men are not capable of being multi-orgasmic.

If you are interested in learning how to become a “multi-orgasmic male,” you will find the exact, step-by-step methods for doing so in “Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband.

Posted: October 12th, 2007 under Christian Sex, Christian Sex Advice, Male Sexuality, married sex.
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Comedian Mark Gungor draws a scientifically proven graph of the male drive…

Posted: September 25th, 2007 under Male Sexuality.
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It’s Monday morning.

Of course, the number one question that is on all of your minds is…

What is the average penis size?

Don’t wonder any longer. About.com has posted an article on average penis size.

Posted: September 24th, 2007 under Male Sexuality.
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We are told to be “in the world, not of the world.” We know that. But, it doesn’t make it easy to always know when we are acting “of the world.”

Our goal SHOULD NOT be to imitate/borrow our sexuality from the world.What you will find in “the world” is a faint/impotent/twisted/spoiled version of what God intends for us.

Satan/the world is only capable of copying/mimicking God’s perfect creations.

Pornography. Strip Clubs. Serial Adultery. These are POOR substitutes for what God created and offers to us.

These are the xerox copies of God’s creation created on a broken copy machine….faded and poor representations of the real thing.

I will STOP writing/ministering in this area TODAY if I start to feel that my mission is to help couples to imitate/experience the world’s twisted “knock offs” of God’s wonderful creation of healthy, Godly sexuality.

God created our sexuality.

He gave this wonderful gift to us.

EVERYTHING that can be found in the world, sexually, was STOLEN by Satan and (poorly) fashioned to appear attractive, despite it’s poisonous nature.

Our goal (and hopefully yours) is to discover sex as God intended it for us.

Earth-shaking, body-quaking, soul-bonding, fun, fun, fun (did I say “fun?”), and HOLY.

We don’t need to look to the world for ANYTHING in this area.

We just need to look to God and our spouse.

Someone, in another post, alluded to the fact that the more she gave herself to God (completely), the more she found herself appreciating her husband and WANTING/NEEDING sex.

If you want to see the best example of what God intends for us, sexually, don’t look to Playboy or HBO or “The Joy of Sex.” Go to the Song of Solomon.

In this book of the Bible, you find that sexuality and human love and Godly love cannot be separated; they are inseparably INTERTWINED.

Your love for God creates a love for your spouse…which creates a DEEP and UNQUENCHABLE sexual desire for your spouse.

Your sexual relationship/interactions creates an appreciation for your spouse (and God’s gift of sexual pleasure) which makes you love God/your spouse even more…which makes you want to get closer to both.

This is a never ending positive, health (and beautiful) cycle.

And it has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING that you might find in the world.

The best, most intense, most real, most “spiritual” sexual experiences can ONLY be found taking place between two Christians that are attempting to Glorify God through their lives, relationship and sexuality.

Posted: July 19th, 2007 under Christian Sex, Male Sexuality, Male Sexual Dysfunction, Christian Culture.
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Below is the trailer for an important recent film, “Soulmate.”

This film is a documentary by writer-producer-director Andrea Wiley.

“Soulmate” explores the issues that are faced by modern black women. It takes an intimate look at the lives of accomplished, professional Black women who are finding purpose while single and offers practical advice from some of the nation’s leading Christian leaders.

It is difficult to find a good, Christian relationship. It is (statistically) almost impossible for many black women. According to the statistics on the film’s website, www.soulmatefilm.com, 42.3% of black women have never been married and according to recent U.S. statistics, 70% of all black women are now single.

Andrea says, about her film…

“My hope and prayer, always, is that ‘Soulmate’ will serve as a change agent in the lives of those who see it… I hope the testimonies of women in this film will inspire people to examine their spiritual lives, move beyond the traps that singleness sometimes creates for those who wish to be married and find wholeness in an intimate relationship with God.”

Posted: June 28th, 2007 under Christian Sex, News, Christian Marriage, Male Sexuality, Sex & Christian Singles, Female Sexuality, Christian Culture.
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Whenever I am not sure that I am “beating a dead horse” relative to a particular topic, I will predictably blame someone else. In this situation, I am unequivocally blaming YOU for the fact that yesterday’s newsletter rant about porn has spilled onto this blog.

I received so many emails regarding the rant, that I felt obligated to further address the issue.

So, it’s not my fault; it’s yours. (Nice how I did that, huh?)

Until this week, “porn” and “pornography” were not an official category on the blog and, frankly, were not a particular focus of any of our work.

Going forward, that is most likely going to change. I intend to (at least) create a category specifically dealing with porn and, as need be, be sure to address this issue more fully.

Why?

Our primary mission (ministry?) is to promote the joys and benefits of sex within marriage.

Porn, by definition, is something that works against this mission. It is a “zero sum game;” ANY time and energy wasted on porn could have been invested in your spouse and marriage.

If we are doing our mission justice, it is nearly impossible (especially given the pervasiveness of pornography) to ignore the issue completely.

In some ways, pornography is, currently, the primary obstacle to many Christian couples finding true sexual enjoyment and fulfillment. We are complex three dimensional beings (body mind and spirit) and so is our sexuality. Within marriage, this complex interplay between our body, mind and spirit can either enhance or destroy our relationship. It is not rocket science. If our only outlet for our sexual release and energies is through sexual interaction with our spouse, we are motivated to enhance that relationship. If we have many other outlets…not so much.

What is the definition of porn?

We received several emails that were seeking a definition of porn. They asked, “Is Playboy porn?” Or, “Is the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated porn?”

For our purposes, porn is anything that is used for sexual release outside of interactions with your spouse.

One of our funny family stories is that my Grandmother used to go through the daily newspaper every day and cut out the bra and underwear ads before my Grandfather could read it.

I still giggle thinking about him trying to read the newspaper with big squares missing.

But, in some ways, she was ahead of her times; it was an early version of filtering software!

ANYTHING could be porn to you (and not to someone else); romance novels, racy television shows or movies- whatever.

In my opinion, the critical factor in the definition is, “Are you channeling sexual release and energy ANYWHERE other than into your relationship with your spouse?”

If you are seeking true, “three dimensional” fulfillment in your life, you CAN find it in your marriage relationship. Everything else is just a distraction from the REAL excitement that is possible for you.

As promised, I am compiling a page of porn-related information on this page, Christian Porn. On this page, you will find links, videos (and more rants) on this topic.

Oh, and a brief commercial interruption…

Start creating that REAL and EXCITING and FULFILLING, “THREE-DIMENSIONAL” sexual relationship today:

Sex Skills For Christian Husbands

Sex Satisfaction For Christian Wives

Posted: February 22nd, 2007 under Christian Marriage, Male Sexuality, Christians and Pornography, Low Male Sex Desire, Christians and Porn, Christians and Pornography.
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There is an article at www.nymag.com by Naomi Wolf, titled, The Porn Myth.

Naomi is a writer and feminist. As far as I know, she is not a Christian. But, if you have read any of her books or seen her interviewed, you know that she is one of the most literate spokeswomen for a return from the abyss that currently envelopes our culture relative to sex, sexuality and (particularly) relative to our culture’s role for women.

The subtitle of the article is, “In the end, porn doesn�t whet men�s appetites�it turns them off the real thing.”

And, whether from a Christian perspective or not, she accurately describes many of the problems with porn; it’s effects on society, in general, and our relationships, specifically.

Some of the highlights…

“She [Andrea Dworkin] was right about the warning, wrong about the outcome. As she foretold, pornography did breach the dike that separated a marginal, adult, private pursuit from the mainstream public arena. The whole world, post-Internet, did become pornographized. Young men and women are indeed being taught what sex is, how it looks, what its etiquette and expectations are, by pornographic training�and this is having a huge effect on how they interact…”

“But the effect is not making men into raving beasts. On the contrary: The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as �porn-worthy.� Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention…”

“Here is what young women tell me on college campuses when the subject comes up: They can�t compete, and they know it. For how can a real woman�with pores and her own breasts and even sexual needs of her own (let alone with speech that goes beyond �More, more, you big stud!�)�possibly compete with a cybervision of perfection, downloadable and extinguishable at will, who comes, so to speak, utterly submissive and tailored to the consumer�s least specification?”

“For most of human history, erotic images have been reflections of, or celebrations of, or substitutes for, real naked women. For the first time in human history, the images� power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today, real naked women are just bad porn.”

More and comments after the jump…

Read more »

Posted: November 30th, 2006 under Uncategorized, Christian Sex, Male Sexuality, Christians and Pornography, Female Sexuality.
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There is an article at the “Daily Mail” about Dr Luan Brizendine’s book, In The Female Mind.

When I bookmarked this article for a blog post, I hadn’t realized that this would be one of the “big news stories” yesterday. But, I still think that it presents some interesting ideas that may help us to understand our spouses better.

According to Dr. Brizendine’s book…

-“Women talk three times as much as men. In a given day, the average woman speaks 20,000 words versus the average man’s 13,000!”

-”Women also speak more quickly, devote more brainpower to chit-chat - and actually get a buzz out of hearing their own voices.”

-”The simple act of talking triggers a flood of brain chemicals which give women a rush similar to that felt by heroin addicts when they get a high.”

-”But what the male brain may lack in conversation and emotion, they more than make up with in their ability to think about sex… Dr Brizendine says the brain’s “sex processor” - the areas responsible for sexual thoughts - is twice as big as in men than in women, perhaps explaining why men are stereotyped as having sex on the mind. “

More and comments after the jump…

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Posted: November 29th, 2006 under Uncategorized, Christian Sex, Christian Marriage, Male Sexuality, Christian Wives.
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There is an interesting post at www.internetmonk.com titled, “Sex in Dangerous Places” by Michael Spencer.

It is “A letter of advice about sex and the single Christian guy” and I thought that it offered some truly unique points regarding male sexuality both before and after marriage.

A few highlights…

The questions you have now all share one larger question in common: “How does a Christian man live faithfully and obediently with his sexuality?”

My best teachable moments have been when I awakened in the mud and pig slop, not sitting in a classroom or a sanctuary. My best teachers have been men who failed, not those handing me a worksheet.

Let me start by setting a framework for the entire subject; a framework that is often neglected. We have God entirely to blame for being sexual beings. Not for being sexual sinners, but for being sexual in the first place…it is entirely His fault, and He should be made entirely responsible.

The framework, however, goes beyond just whose initials are on the biology. I think we have to also see that scripture continually says that sexuality isn’t just sexuality. It is an aspect of our humanity that is most similar to the intimacy of love within God the Trinity, the highest levels of love within the creation, (i.e. marriage,) and the love we see and experience in Jesus Christ. What we have in our sexuality is, in some way, a connection to the experience of Divine love itself.

I admit that when one thinks of male sexuality in our own culture, this is hardly what immediately comes to mind. One could easily conclude that male sexuality is a universe away from the higher kinds of love. But this simply isn’t true. Male sexuality is the often choice of scriptural language to describe what is beautiful and wonderful.

A few more excerpts and comments after the jump…

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Posted: November 15th, 2006 under Male Sexuality, Sex & Christian Singles.
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