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If you are looking for “natural” sexual enhancers, you still need to be sure that you are careful about their ingredients and possible negative effects.
Below is a video that discusses several popular “sex supplements” and their potential risks.
Posted: October 4th, 2007 under Christian Sex, Christian Sex Advice, Female Sexual Dysfunction, Male Sexual Dysfunction.
Comments: none
We are told to be “in the world, not of the world.” We know that. But, it doesn’t make it easy to always know when we are acting “of the world.”
Our goal SHOULD NOT be to imitate/borrow our sexuality from the world.What you will find in “the world” is a faint/impotent/twisted/spoiled version of what God intends for us.
Satan/the world is only capable of copying/mimicking God’s perfect creations.
Pornography. Strip Clubs. Serial Adultery. These are POOR substitutes for what God created and offers to us.
These are the xerox copies of God’s creation created on a broken copy machine….faded and poor representations of the real thing.
I will STOP writing/ministering in this area TODAY if I start to feel that my mission is to help couples to imitate/experience the world’s twisted “knock offs” of God’s wonderful creation of healthy, Godly sexuality.
God created our sexuality.
He gave this wonderful gift to us.
EVERYTHING that can be found in the world, sexually, was STOLEN by Satan and (poorly) fashioned to appear attractive, despite it’s poisonous nature.
Our goal (and hopefully yours) is to discover sex as God intended it for us.
Earth-shaking, body-quaking, soul-bonding, fun, fun, fun (did I say “fun?”), and HOLY.
We don’t need to look to the world for ANYTHING in this area.
We just need to look to God and our spouse.
Someone, in another post, alluded to the fact that the more she gave herself to God (completely), the more she found herself appreciating her husband and WANTING/NEEDING sex.
If you want to see the best example of what God intends for us, sexually, don’t look to Playboy or HBO or “The Joy of Sex.” Go to the Song of Solomon.
In this book of the Bible, you find that sexuality and human love and Godly love cannot be separated; they are inseparably INTERTWINED.
Your love for God creates a love for your spouse…which creates a DEEP and UNQUENCHABLE sexual desire for your spouse.
Your sexual relationship/interactions creates an appreciation for your spouse (and God’s gift of sexual pleasure) which makes you love God/your spouse even more…which makes you want to get closer to both.
This is a never ending positive, health (and beautiful) cycle.
And it has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING that you might find in the world.
The best, most intense, most real, most “spiritual” sexual experiences can ONLY be found taking place between two Christians that are attempting to Glorify God through their lives, relationship and sexuality.
Posted: July 19th, 2007 under Christian Sex, Male Sexuality, Male Sexual Dysfunction, Christian Culture.
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I received the following email this week…
“Robert,
I just read over the promo for The Premature Ejaculation Master. I think the thing we need to be careful about is that it had content that referred to an unmarried sexual experience.
Since this is being posted on a Christian Sex Site, we need to be careful that we promote only God’s teaching on sex.
Thanks for your consideration…”
This email reminded me of two things:
1) I haven’t discussed premature ejaculation much lately (see below).
2) I may need to provide an explanation (warning?) to our readers and visitors regarding some of our recommendations.
As you probably know by now, this is a Christian Sex blog. Susan and I are committed to promoting the joys and benefits of sex within a Christian marriage.
But…
The Christian Sex world is very small. MOST of the best advice relative to technical issues (such as Premature Ejaculation) are not going to be found in specifically “Christian” resources. Consequently, outside of the books written specifically by Susan and I (Sex Skills For Christian Husbands, Sexual Satisfaction For Christian Wives, When Your Husband Is Never In The Mood), you might find some content that is not 100% consistent with your Christian and Scriptural principles.
We suggest that you benefit from the solid, valuable “technical” advice and ignore whatever may conflict with your convictions.
We do promise that NONE of our recommendations will ever be pornographic or “dirty” in any way- they just might not have a specifically Christian point of view in all aspects.
Ok, now that we have gotten that out of the way…
Premature Ejaculation is an issue that affects between 30% and 70% of men (at some point or another). A survey (The National Health and Social Life Survey) estimates the number to be solidly around 30%.
The good and bad news about Premature Ejaculation:
1) It can have a very negative impact on your married sex life (bad).
2) Most men can overcome this problem with (relative) ease if they are willing to involve their wife, learn a few techniques and “practice, practice, practice…” (good).
Below, I will give you a broad overview of strategies for overcoming premature ejaculation.
If you desire a more detailed set of techniques and strategies, you might consider a book like Christian Gudnason’s The Premature Ejaculation Master.
How To Overcome Premature Ejaculation…
1) Include your wife in the process.
By definition, premature ejaculation involves an inability to maintain sexual activity (with your wife) for a length of time that pleases both of you. And, since the basic solution to overcoming premature ejaculation is learning how to experience the pleasure and sensations of sex (with your wife) for a sufficient period of time, you need to practice “in the real world.”
It is very akin to something like bodybuilding or weight lifting. The only way that you can become bigger or stronger is by “progressive resistance”; over time, you train your muscles to lift heavier and heavier weights. With premature ejaculation, you are “training” yourself to progressively experience the pleasure of sexual activity for longer and longer periods of time (without ejaculation).
If you are not training “in the real world” (with your wife), you may not be making true progress.
2) Remove the pressure!
Until you have significantly overcome your premature ejaculation problem, be sure that you and your wife “re-arrange” your sex life to eliminate your need to satisfy her in a way that requires you to maintain an erection for long periods of time.
There are many ways that you can ensure that she is satisfied (manual stimulation, oral sex, etc.) without the need to make you feel pressured to “perform.”
The time that you do spend in intercourse or other activities that require you to delay your ejaculation should be SPECIFICALLY “training time” in which you are focusing exclusively how to progressively lengthen the amount of time that you can fully experience sexual pleasure sensations while under NO pressure to satisfy her (bring her to climax).
You can bring her to climax before or after your “training time.”
(If you always ejaculate with very little sexual excitement or foreplay, this may be a serious problem and you should consult a physician.)
3) You and your wife should learn and practice a technique such as Master and Johnston’s “squeeze-pause” technique:
-Your wife stimulates you ONLY until you are feeling TOO close to ejaculation.
-Then (with your leading) she should squeeze your penis firmly (just behind the glans and mostly under the penis) in a way that ratchets down your level of sexual excitement. Her “squeeze” should be slightly uncomfortable but not painful.
-You should practice the ability to do this technique up to ten times per session and until you begin to progressively lengthen the period of time before you feel that ejaculation is inevitable.
-In Sex Skills For Christian Husbands we discuss a technique called “The Mountain Climbing Technique” that teaches you how to associate your sense of sexual pleasure and rate it on a scale of 1-10. You then practice “knowing” when you are reaching an inevitable ejaculation (a 9 or 10) and progressively learn how to stay at higher and higher levels of excitement without actually ejaculating.
-After sufficient practice with the “squeeze technique,” you can then move onto progressively longer and longer periods of actual intercourse. Again, look at this as “training” and remove ANY pressure to please your wife!
4) Other things to try…
-Desensitizing cream.
-Masturbation 1-2 hours before intercourse. (This works best for younger men. This may work against older men).
-Some types of SSRI drugs (anti-depressants) have shown beneficial in delaying ejaculation. They are also sometimes the cause of some men’s inability to ejaculate.
For more detailed information, you might want to try Sex Skills For Christian Husbands or The Premature Ejaculation Master.
Posted: February 23rd, 2007 under Christian Marriage, Male Sexual Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation.
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Introduction: You are not Alone
“Men are so ashamed of speaking up about low sexual desire, but low desire in men is America’s best-kept secret. I would estimate that it affects at least 20 to 25% of adult males…” ~ Michelle Weiner-Davis, Marriage Therapist
When your husband isn’t in the mood to have sex, it can be a defining moment in the relationship when it happens more than once. You begin to feel let down and you also feel as if he is letting you down. You may even feel unattractive and like no other woman in the world could possibly understand what you are going through at the time. |
Male low sex desire is a problem that has very negative effects on a marriage.
The good news is that, in the majority of cases, male low sex desire can be overcome.
But, to do this, you need a “game plan” of strategies that have proven to be effective.
Susan’s latest book, “When Your Husband Is Never In The Mood” provides just this type of “game plan.”
And for the next 24 hours (Until Wednesday, February 21st @ 12:00 PM [EST]), you can download her book for only $12.00 here.
You can find a chapter excerpt of the Introduction here.
You can find the Table of Contents here.
Posted: February 20th, 2007 under Christian Sex, Male Sexual Dysfunction, Low Male Sex Desire.
Comments: none
Science And Your Love Life…
According to an article at www.news.com.au, there are some promising new technologies available for the 20% of men and nearly 40% of women that suffer from sexual dysfunction.
The first scientifically proven technology is an old one-regular exercise. Moving and strengthening your body will have wonderful effects on your love life.
Secondly, don’t forget that your mind is still your greatest sexual organ. Sometimes focusing on your marriage relationship and intimacy will do miracles for any physical issues that you are dealing with.
But, there are also some newer technologies that are showing promise. The article mentions…
-Testosterone treatments for both males and females.
-A nose spray called bremelanotide that increases blood flow to the genitals.
-A handheld vacuum that increases blood flow to the clitoris.
-Scientists are also looking into gene therapy.
You can find the full article here.
Posted: February 10th, 2007 under Uncategorized, News, Female Sexual Dysfunction, Sex & Health, Male Sexual Dysfunction.
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