Ultimately, our ministry is a ministry of encouragement.

We want to encourage our brothers and sisters to make their marriages and lives as good as possible.

We have seen in both our own lives and the lives of our readers TRUE miracles.

We KNOW that God is available to us in ALL areas of our lives.

But…

There is a dangerous and counter-productive (yet popular) idea being propagated by some preachers. It is the idea that our lives (and marriages) SHOULD be perfect in every way. And, if they are not, we are doing something wrong.

There are two problems with this idea:

1) It is not Scriptural.

2) It only heaps additional burdens on our backs. Not only are we struggling…we are embarrassed and ashamed that we are struggling.

In the following video, Mark Driscoll plays a clip from a Joel Osteen sermon and comments on it.

I’m neither a particular fan of Mark Driscoll…nor a particular detractor of Joel Osteen. I see positives and negatives with both. But, I do believe that Mark Driscoll does a good job of dissecting Osteen’s assertion that, as Christians, we are to be constant “winners” with perfect relationships and lives…or something is wrong.

Driscoll’s main point is that if that is what our lives are supposed to look like, Jesus was a pretty bad example.

Jesus did not live the life of a “winner,” filled with health, wealth and perfect relationships.

He was a dirt poor carpenter whose family, friends and neighbors disrespected, hated and, ultimately, killed.

Does this mean that we are destined to live unfulfilling lives of desperation and poverty? No. Not necessarily. But, our ONLY guarantee is that we can rely on God to be with us as we deal with WHATEVER we are meant to face.

And, we can be confident that He will be there for us.

I will be the first to encourage you to NOT allow your struggles to overwhelm you.

Stand back up and fight the battles necessary to change those things in your life that are not currently ideal…knowing that God has your back.

But…

DON’T burden yourself with the UNSCRIPTURAL and UNNECESSARY weight of feeling guilty for your imperfect present state.

If struggle and imperfect circumstances were good enough for Jesus…

Posted: May 5th, 2008 under Christian Marriage, Christian Culture, mark driscoll, joel osteen.
Comments: 1

Last year, I posted the video (below) titled “How To Turn Your Wife Into A Sex Goddess In Three Easy Steps.”

Afterwards, I received a few angry emails from husbands that felt I was perpetuating the “myth” that “if only” they were more helpful around the house, their wives would be more “helpful” in bed. They swore that they were practically “house husbands” and their wives were still not interested in sex.

Well…

1) It was just an attempt at humor. We really don’t believe that every husband that helps around the house is (automatically) overwhelmed with too much sex.

2) There was a grain of truth. MANY women do tell us that they would be MUCH more available in bed, if they were less tired and stressed because their husband’s were helping them with some of the household chores.

But, I think that “turnabout is fairplay.” So, I have also included a video from the man’s perspective. It is a Folgers commercial from the 50’s. And, I feel that it accurately (not really) expresses the quickest and easiest way for a woman to spark romance and respect within her husband.

Please no emails on these…they are only intended to give you a chuckle.

Posted: April 16th, 2008 under Christian Marriage, Christian Wives, Christian Culture, Christian Husbands.
Comments: none

The following video is Jeff Allen, a Christian Comedian, talking about how he swore that he would never be like his father and be “too old” to understand his teenagers.

Of course, then reality hits…

Have a great weekend.

Posted: April 4th, 2008 under Christian Marriage, Christian Culture, Parenting, Christian Husbands.
Comments: 1

In many ways, the last few weeks have been really great.

We introduced two new products, Tastefully Illustrated Sexual Positions For Christian Couples and Sexual Fun And Games For Christian Couples.

What was most fulfilling about these launches was the multitude of emails that we received from Christian couples that were excited about using the information in these resources to make their marriages more fun.

We really love to communicate with those of you that are dedicated to making the most of your God-given lives and marriages.

But, I had something happen last night that almost ruined my good mood.

I had an interaction with a fellow Christian that reminded me of why we are doing what we do.

This person was completely hung up on all of “the rules” that he thought we were breaking.

He was lecturing us on the need for us to be more conscious of how we are are leading other’s astray with our focus on married sexuality.

I was almost so upset that I wasn’t going to post today…until I settled down.

Well, you know what?

He’s wrong.

At the end of the day…

There is (almost) NOTHING more important than your relationship with your spouse.

We will all have to answer to God on judgment day.

But…my guess is we might be surprised at how little he cared about some of the (supposed) rules and how much he did care about those responsibilities (our marriage relationship) that he placed closest to us.

Did we take his gifts/talents and bury them because we know that God is a “hard master?”

Or, did we do our best to make the most of those gifts?

I suspect that God would prefer that we stand before him, having done EVERYTHING within our power to be good Spouses, Parents, Children, Friends and Neighbors…than he will care if we can show him the checklist of all of the things that we did (or didn’t) do.

Sex is not everything in a marriage (or a life).

But, it is a HUGE part of both.

If you have the need to work on the sexual part of your marriage so that you can better enjoy your life and marriage…do it.

If you need to begin to appreciate (in general) all of the trillions of other beautiful/amazing/mystical things that God has provided through the life/universe that you live in…learn how.

I suspect our loving Father is pleased when we demonstrate that we appreciate all that he has given us by gratefully appreciating and exploring it all.

Or…

You can bury it all…and hide from the returning owner of the vineyard.

Starting today. Starting this minute. Thank God for what you have. And, try to honor him by living your life in a way that shows your appreciation.

Below are the lyrics and the video for the Point of Grace song, “How You Live.”

Have a great weekend and forgive me if I was a little “hard” in this post. I’ll be in a better mood next week.

Wake up to the sunlight
With your windows open
Don’t hold in your anger or leave things unspoken
Wear your red dress
Use your good dishes
Make a big mess and make lots of wishes
Have what you want
But want what you have
And don’t spend your life lookin’ back

Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
You won’t regret it
Lookin’ back from where you have been
Cuz it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did
It’s how you live

So go to the ballgames
And go to the ballet
And go see your folks more than just on the holidays
Kiss all your children
Dance with your wife
Tell your husband you love him every night
Don’t run from the truth
‘Cause you can’t get away
Just face it and you’ll be okay

Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
You won’t regret it
Lookin’ back from where you have been
‘Cause it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did
It’s how you live

Oh wherever you are and wherever you’ve been
Now is the time to begin

So give to the needy
And pray for the grieving
E’en when you don’t think that you can
‘Cause all that you do is bound to come back to you
So think of your fellow man
Make peace with God and make peace with yourself
‘Cause in the end there’s nobody else

Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
‘Cause you won’t regret it
Lookin’ back from where you have been
‘Cause it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did
It’s how you live

‘Cause it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did
It’s how you live

Enjoy.

Posted: March 7th, 2008 under Christian Sex, Christian Marriage, Christian Culture.
Comments: 1

One of the predictable downsides of any “holiday” is that the pressure to fulfill our own (and society’s) expectations for the holiday turns something potentially positive into a negative.

And, Valentine’s Day is no different…

In addition to the wonderful stories that we received about how Valentine’s Day was an opportunity for many couples to express their love for each other, we also received quite a few emails from people that found the whole “Valentine’s Day thing” to be a painful experience.

They experienced pain because their reality during this “romantic holiday” was far from what they had hoped and wished for.

If they were single, they longed for the love that “everyone else” was (supposedly) experiencing.

If they were married, their spouse’s actions (or lack of actions) during this holiday left them feeling somewhat disappointed and depressed.

Overall, the feeling that was most expressed was of loneliness.

Feeling “alone” is one of the toughest emotions to deal with.

And, as Christians, we sometimes exasperate this problem because we (wrongly) give too much weight to the emotional “feelings” that surround loneliness.

We believe that our feeling of being alone means that we ARE alone.

For those of you that are dealing with feeling alone right now, we want to encourage you by reminding you that you are never alone…no matter how you “feel” right now.

One of the most beautiful parts of the Christ story is that Jesus experienced EVERYTHING that we, as humans, experience.

And, this includes loneliness.

On the cross, Jesus screams, “Why have you forsaken me?” In Scriptures, forsaken is the word that means abandoned, deserted, left behind. (Matthew 27:46).

Jesus also faced feeling loneliness.

But, we know that God did not abandon Jesus. And, he has not abandoned you.

In fact, one of the clearest and most repeated themes that Jesus expresses is that we are never alone…because he will is always with us.

In Hebrews 13:5, he says, “I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU.”

Once saved, we are always his (John 10:28-29).

The God of the universe has made his home in our very hearts (John 14:23).

As are shepherd, he will never leave his sheep (Psalm 23:4).

The real “trick” is to consciously IGNORE your feelings in this matter.

God is with you. You are NOT alone…no matter how you “feel.”

One of my daughter’s favorite Christian bands is a group called “Barlow Girl.”

One of their songs deals with this issue in a very powerful way. It is called, “Never Alone.”

In my opinion, it expresses a mature and faithful way for us to deal with feeling alone. It basically says, “no matter how I feel, I know God is with me.”

The lyrics are…

I waited for you today
But you didn’t show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You’d be there
And though I haven’t seen You
Are You still there?

[Chorus:]
I cried out with no reply
And I can’t feel You by my side
So I’ll hold tight to what I know
You’re here and I”m never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can’t explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You’ve placed in my life

We cannot separate
‘Cause You’re part of me
And though You’re invisible
I’ll trust the unseen

I encourage you to trust God that he is with you…no matter how my may be feeling.

The video is below.

Posted: February 18th, 2008 under Uncategorized, Christian Romance, Christian Culture.
Comments: none

I’m a big fan of John Eldredge, author of the book, “Wild at heart.”

John is a proponent of living life passionately.

In our ministry, we see many Christians struggling with how to balance their “humanness” with their Christianity; they sometimes feel as if being a Christian means that they are supposed to go through life suppressing their passions.

John always makes a great case for the fact that God wants us to be more fully human…not less.

Below is a posting from his website, www.ransomedheart.com.

It deals with how we interpret the struggles in our lives (and marriages).

Do we interpret our lives and struggles as mundane, negative events to avoid?

Or, do we see them as epic (necessary and intended) battles with the world, Satan and ourselves?

I believe that we need to choose the latter interpretation.

We need to be more “wild at heart”…not less.

Below the post is a video by Bruce Carroll. He is performing a song inspired by Eldredge’s “Wild at heart” called “Big World.”

Enjoy and go into your weekend with God…and passion.

My friends,

It seems that the central difficulty we all face is how we interpret our lives.
Sometimes, our prayers are answered…but sometimes they aren’t. Why is that?

Sometimes, God seems so near…but sometimes, he seems to have abandoned us. Why is that?

The things that have happened to you in your life – why did that happen? And how come the things you so
desperately wanted to happen didn’t?

You see, whether we rise or fall, whether or not we keep faith or lose it, if we are going to live from the heart, we have got to see more clearly what’s happening to us. As Paul said, we must see “with the eyes of our heart” (Eph 1:18). Allow me to share with you, then, an excerpt from the book I’m working on, entitled Waking the Dead…
Things are not what they seem And what do all those great stories and myths tell us? What does every fairy tale have in common? Wherever they may come from, whatever their shape might be, they nearly always speak to us Three Eternal Truths. First, things are not what they seem. There is a whole lot more going on here than meets the eye.

After the tornado, Dorothy steps out of her old farm house to find herself in a strange new world, a land of Munchkins and fairies and Wicked Witches. The land of Oz. Alice falls through the rabbit hole into Wonderland. Jacob falls into a dream under the desert stars, and sees a ladder “resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God…ascending and descending on it” (Gen 28:12). He wakes, more awake than he’s ever been in his life thanks to the dream, and realizes for the first time that there is more going on around him than he ever imagined. “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it” (28:16).
This is precisely what the Bible has warned us against all these years – “un-awareness.” We live in two worlds – or better, in one world with two halves, part which you can see and part which you cannot. We are urged, for our own welfare, to act as though the unseen world is in fact more
weighty and more real and more dangerous than the part of reality we can see. Things are not what they seem. Not by a long shot.
We are at War

There is another, more urgent quality to every true myth. The Second Great Truth brought to us comes like a broken message over the radio, or an urgent telegram from a distant country, telling us that some great struggle, quest or battle is well underway. May even be hanging in the
balance. When the four children stumble into Narnia, that lovely country is under the spell of the White Witch and has been for a hundred years. In another story, Jack and his mother are starving and must sell their only cow. Frodo barely makes it out of the Shire with his life. In the nick of time he learns that the ring he bears is the fabled One Ring, that Sauron has discovered its whereabouts, and the Nine Black Riders are already across the borders searching for the little hobbit with deadly intent. The future of all Middle Earth hangs in the balance.
Again, this exactly what the Scriptures have been trying to wake us up to for years. Christianity isn’t a religion about Sunday School and pot luck suppers, being nice and holding car washes and sending our second-hand clothes off to Mexico. This is a world at war. Something dangerous is unfolding all around us, we are caught up in it, and above all doubt we have been given a key role to play. Do you think I’m being a bit too dramatic? Read again the tale told in the story of Daniel, chapter ten. A cosmic battle, an unanswered prayer, a man caught in the middle.
The reason we love Star Wars or Narnia or The Matrix is because they are telling us something about reality that we never, ever get on the evening news. Or from most pulpits. This is our most desperate hour. Without this burning in our hearts, we lose the meaning of our days. It all
withers down to deadlines and bills and voicemail and who really cares anyway?

Do you see what has happened? The essence of our faith has been stripped away. The very thing that was to give our lives meaning and protect us – this way of seeing – has been lost. Or stolen from us. It is as if we have landed on the beaches of Normandy in the early hours of D-Day, June 6, 1945, with a lawn chair and a book to read. We are mistaken; we are that unprepared for our lives.
Things aren’t what they seem. This is a world at war. Now for the most stunning news of all.
The Weight of Your Glory

Last, but not least, not by a long shot, every mythic story shouts to us that in this desperate hour we have a crucial role to play. That is the Third Great Truth and it happens to be the one we most desperately need if we are ever to understand our days. Dorothy is just a farm girl from Kansas, who stumbled into Oz because someone had hurt her feelings and she decided to run away from home. Yet she’s the one to bring down the Wicked Witch. Frodo, the little Halfling from the Shire, young and naive in so many ways, “the most unlikely person imaginable,” is the Ring Bearer. A little boy will slay the giant; a loud-mouthed fisherman who can’t hold down a job will lead the Church and a whore with a golden heart is the one to perform the deed that Jesus asked us all to tell “whenever the gospel is told around the world” (**).
A glory has been given to you, a glory the enemy fears. All his powers are set against that glory…which is to say, against your heart. I believe if you’ll hold this up like a candle to light your way, things will suddenly come much more clear to you. At least, that is my prayer.
Fighting on, and in desperate need of your help,

John

********

Posted: January 17th, 2008 under Christian Culture.
Comments: none

As you may know, Dove Cosmetics started a “Real Woman” advertising campaign last year.

The video below is part of this campaign.

It is a “behind the scenes” look at how we are manipulated to feel bad about ourselves by the media.

I found it to be very powerful and I hope you do too.

Posted: January 14th, 2008 under Christian Culture.
Comments: none

Below is a really amusing video that depicts how difficult it can be to handle the Thanksgiving turkey.

Have a great Thanksgiving weekend and make sure that you wrestle with your spouse (at least) as much as you wrestle with the turkey!

Enjoy.

Posted: November 21st, 2007 under Christian Culture.
Comments: none

I tried. I really did.

I wanted to have an intelligent angle that would make posting this video seem relevant to the rest of the blog.

I failed.

Yet…

If you are like me, Mondays can be a bit difficult to get going; you can use a good laugh.

Below is a video of an old advertisement for a Christian television station.

If this doesn’t brighten up your day…you need to go back to bed and call it a day.

One comment: please don’t perform this type of art with your actual child; it could be dangerous!

Posted: November 12th, 2007 under Christian Culture.
Comments: 5

It’s Friday. And, as you know, I try to find a light-hearted topic for Fridays.

Below is a very funny video of a groom VERY excited about getting married.

Do you remember when you were this excited about marriage?

I can’t prove it, but I am fairly certain that his groom had just finished reading Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband and Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife…and was REALLY looking forward to the wedding night!

Enjoy the video. And, try to bring a little of that excitement to your marriage this weekend. If not now, when?

Have a great weekend.

Posted: November 9th, 2007 under Christian Sex, Christian Marriage, Christian Romance, Humor, Christian Culture, Christian Husbands.
Comments: none