A few days ago, I found a post on Christianity Today’s Blog, www.blog.christianitytoday.com, that caught my attention.

It is written by David Neff and refers to a University of Texas study on sexuality. The study asked a bunch of people (mostly non-married, undergraduates) “Why they have sex.”

The results were exactly what you would have expected. Their priorities are screwed up royally. They have sex because they are “bored.” They have sex because they want “validation.” Blah Blah. Blah.

Nothing in this study should surprise Christians. Do we really expect the world to “tow the line,” Scripturally, in their sexual priorities?

But, what really caught my attention was David’s statement that “One of the key reasons that God invented sex is procreation.”

Yes, in Genesis, God did tell us to “multiply.” Okay, so I’ll give him that. But, almost every reference after that deals with how to express our sexuality in a “God approved” way (in marriage, not with children or animals, etc.).

We have discussed the pain that thousands of Christians have expressed to us because their spouse says, “sex is for having babies…and we already have babies.”

This is a twisting of Scripture and God’s intent. I don’t care about “orthodox theology” in this discussion. What does the Bible say?

Paul tells us to not deny our spouse.

He tells us to marry to avoid “burning with passion” (i.e. temptations found outside of married sexuality).

The Song of Solomon provides us with a beautiful picture of what married sexual love should be…passionate, romantic, fulfilling…frequent.

I don’t remember the verse in SOS that says…”OH yeah…do it like this…until you have a few kids. Then you can be done with this awful activity!”

This type of thinking HURTS Christian marriage. It does NOT help.

Okay, that was my rant for you. Below is my rant on David’s blog…

I agree with David’s frustration with our culture’s “upside down” priorities relative to sexuality.

But, like him, I have to say to this fact, “Duh.”

This was a general survey,conducted primarily with undergraduates. Did anyone really expect the results to line up with Scripture?

The concern I have with David’s thesis as it relates to married Christians.

He says, “One of the key reasons that God invented sex is procreation.”

Outside of the genesis command to “multiply,” where is procreation listed as the primary purpose of sex in marriage?

Most of the (especially NT) references to sexuality within marriage specifically offer sexual release as a way to 1)Share yourself with your spouse. 2) Please and serve your spouse. 3) Avoid sexual temptation outside of marriage.

Paul says “it is better to not burn with desire,” he doesn’t suggest that we should marry to increase the flock.

In fact, in the verses in which Paul explicitly discusses “reasons to marry,” he never once mentions procreation as a benefit. He is, in fact, proposing the idea that it would be easier to serve God without the responsibilities of marriage. I would have to assume the responsibilities of parenting only reduce your availability in serving God…at least full-time.

Although I agree that procreation and family are fundamental and righteous goals, I think the idea that procreation is the PRIMARY purpose of sexuality within marriage has caused more damage than good.

I have worked with thousands of Christian couples that struggle to express both their Christianity and their sexuality in a healthy, God Intended way because they (or their spouse) have wrongly delegated sex and sexuality to the “back shelf” of their existence.

If I had a dime for every depressed and confused Christian that told me that their spouse wasn’t interested in sex any more because it was only intended for procreation…I’d have a lot of dimes.

How can we ever make headway with the group that answered this survey (mostly non-Christian, young people) if they think that we are proposing to them that they will have to spend the rest of their lives fighting one of the most fundamental and powerful aspects of our God given natures…our sexuality?

We might as well tell them that to be Christians, they need to learn how to hold their breath for the next fifty years.

I propose that a better approach for both Christians and non-Christians is to demonstrate the positive, life-affirming, relationship-affirming benefits of expressing our (God given) sexuality within the one boundary he has provided…marriage.

We would have many happier married Christians…and, most likely, a more receptive audience with non-Christian young people.

You can find his post here.

Posted: August 2nd, 2007 under Uncategorized, Christian Sex, Christian Marriage, Contraception, Christian Culture, Marriage Forum.
Comments: 1

There is an interesting post on the phatmass.com blog titled, “In Their Own Words, Protestants Against Contraception.”

Phatmass is a Catholic apologetics blog. The post’s premise is that the Catholic prohibition against contraception is more in line with the position of the overall Christian church, historically, than is the Protestant’s current non-prohibition.

It lists direct quotes from Reformation leaders such as Luther, Calvin and Wesley relative to the topic of contraception.

The gist of the post…

“Few realize it today, but before 1930 all Christian churches opposed contraception as an unnatural and thus impermissible interference with God’s design for human sexuality.

That changed when, at their 1930 Lambeth Conference, Anglicans began permitting the use of contraception on a limited basis; other denominations quickly absorbed the secular sexual morality that flooded into the Protestant world. Today no Protestant church maintains the historic Christian faith on this issue. Only the Catholic Church has stood firm and resisted the onslaught of secularism in sexual ethics.

Things grew so bad in the Protestant world that by the early 1970s some Evangelical leaders were advocating not only contraception, but even abortion. At that time abortion and contraception were viewed as “Catholic” issues. When abortion was legalized by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1973, these Evangelicals rethought the issue and became firmly prolife.”

A few of the Reformation leaders quotes…

MARTIN LUTHER

(SIXTEENTH-CENTURY FOUNDER OF LUTHERANISM)

“[T]he exceedingly foul deed of Onan, the basest of wretches . . . is a most disgraceful sin. It is far more atrocious than incest and adultery. We call it unchastity, yes, a sodomitic sin. For Onan goes in to her—that is, he lies with her and copulates—and, when it comes to the point of insemination, spills the semen, lest the woman conceive. Surely at such a time the order of nature established by God in procreation should be followed. Accordingly, it was a most disgraceful crime. . . . Consequently, he deserved to be killed by God. He committed an evil deed. Therefore, God punished him” (Commentary on Genesis).

JOHN CALVIN

(SIXTEENTH-CENTURY FOUNDER OF CALVINISM)

“The voluntary spilling of semen outside of intercourse between man and woman is a monstrous thing. Deliberately to withdraw from coitus in order that semen may fall on the ground is doubly monstrous. For this is to extinguish the hope of the race and to kill before he is born the hoped-for offspring” (Commentary on Genesis).

This topic deserves a serious approach because many good Christians, both Catholic and Protestant, have disagreed about the answer to the question, “Is contraception prohibited?”

I believe it is also an important topic because it forces us to realize that many sexually related questions, even today, can not be addressed purely via Scripture…even today. Consequently, we should be hesitant to be to quick to condemn other Christians for sexual activity that is not CLEARLY and DEFINITIVELY addressed in Scripture.

I happen to agree with the current Protestant opinion on contraception-that it is not prohibited. I believe that the church leaders’ mention of Onan prove that they were attempting to ban contraception utilizing a Biblical story (Onan) that really had nothing to do with contraception. Onan was committing a sin because he disobeyed God’s order to continue his brother’s family line; not because he “spilled his seed.” But, I can respectfully understand why the Catholic Church and (historically) the Protestant Church have thought otherwise.

Either way, it is an important and interesting discussion.

Posted: December 6th, 2006 under Uncategorized, Christian Sex, Contraception.
Comments: none