Most of the posts on this blog would be considered “advice;” they come from our experience of successfully overcoming certain marital or sexual issues and are intended to pass along information that will help you to find success and fulfillment in those areas, as well.

This post is different.

It addresses an issue that Sue and I both are still in the process of “trying” to overcome…weight and eating.

I hope some day to be in the position where I can put up a weight related post and feel confident that I am passing along well-earned knowledge, gained from our personal experience of success. That day is NOT today. If there is one area of our lives that we continue to struggle, semi-unsuccessfully, it is with our weight.

But, there was a very interesting and passionate discussion thread last week in our Christian Marriage Forums.

It was titled, “Overweight Wife - Uninterested Husband. “

Although neither Sue nor I feel comfortable in giving advice regarding “how” to lose weight, luckily, neither of us deal with the real issue that is addressed in this thread…loss of sexual desire for your spouse because they are “too” heavy.

We both agree that the other’s weight is something that is to be addressed as “part of the bargain.” It is akin to dealing with your spouse if they were to become ill or disabled in some way; ideally, you would do whatever necessary to keep the passion/sexuality alive…no matter what.

But, weight is a more complicated thing. There IS a part of someone’s weight problem that IS within their control; it is not exactly like an illness or disability in that way. Consequently, they are responsible (in some way) for overcoming their weight problem, no?

Sometimes, the problem is not just the weight,itself, it is the lack of feeling sexy that results from it. Maybe the husband (or wife) really doesn’t have an issue with their spouse’s weight, but the spouse dealing with their weight feels “unsexy” and is less sexual. This issue is very well addressed in The Christian BBW’s Guide To Great Sex.

But, sometimes the other spouse IS dealing with desire issues as a result of their spouse’s weight…

What do you do then?

I can only tell you what Sue and I “think” the proper approach is…

We “act” (in bed) as if weight is not an issue. We do the best we can to love an appreciate ALL of the new curves that exist.

But, because weight is not just a sexual problem, but an overall health and longevity problem, as well, we are actively working towards losing weight. We are both trying Dr. Frank Smoot’s Weight Loss God’s Way program.

We are “trying” to walk an hour each day…together.

The discussion thread that brought me to this post, though, makes it clear that not all couples are able to handle “the weight issue” so calmly and patiently. It is a REAL problem within the marriage.

I would love to see your comments on your experiences and (hopefully) how you have successfully overcome this problem.

Please feel free to share (leave comments). You don’t have to use your “real” name with your comments.

Posted: April 14th, 2008 under christian weight issues.
Comments: 8