We receive quite a few unsolicited testimonials for our various products.
I thought I would share this one with you because it highlights ONE approach that you may find helpful if you are struggling to ignite your spouse’s sexual interest and desire.
As I have said (many times), it is sometimes silly to believe that your problem is communication (not always).
Sometimes, you and your spouse know EXACTLY what each other wants and needs…it’s just that one of you doesn’t care enough to overcome their own “issues” regarding sex.
Sometimes, they need to be exposed to SOMETHING/SOMEONE else that will light that fire.
It’s the whole “prophet in his home town” thing.
Your spouse may love you to death. But, you are still JUST their spouse. What do YOU know?
If you don’t believe this is true, you should listen into some of my conversations with Sue where I attempt to persuade her (into something) with my status as a “sex expert.” HINT: It hasn’t worked yet!
Apparently, all it took for this husband’s wife to “come around,” (pun intended) was for her to be exposed to Susan’s Book, Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife. After she decided to read Sue’s book, there was an, almost, miraculous turnaround in their sex life.
This will not always work. I have hundreds of letters from spouses complaining that their spouse won’t even consider looking at a book about sex. But…sometimes…
I wanted to drop you a letter and let you know how thankful I am that you wrote your book.
My wife and I have been married for 20 years and neither one of us has ever been with any other person sexually. To say we have had “sexual problems” over the years would be a massive understatement. In my opinion, our recurring problems were largely the result of woefully inadequate sex education within the evangelical community, but that is for a different day.
On many occasions, I tried to convince my wife that she needed to take a more active role in sex and that my true goal was her ultimate satisfaction. This led only to frustration, arguments, and the occasional all-out war.
Last weekend was a really bad weekend for us, including my wife’s declaration that she “hates sex.” Later she told me that what she really hated was what sex was doing to our marriage. I was able to convince her that we should get your book, which I had found online months ago.
We got your book on Monday morning and I scanned through it quickly. I had my doubts, as we had already heard most of the basic stuff before. My wife read the first 39 pages later that day while I was running errands. I do not know exactly what she read, but it is now 24 hours later and I can say that my wife has a completely different (and positive) attitude toward sex. Unfortunately, I was trying to force this attitude on her for years. Maybe she realized that some of the things I was saying were valid, or maybe you said things in a much better way. Her response to what she read in your book was much more positive than I expected.
Given out recent failings and fighting, I did not want to put much pressure on my wife so soon. But, it turned out that I did not need to ask her for anything at the outset because she, somewhat uncharacteristically, initiated a lot of things. We looked through more of the book together and concluded that we probably should not try the whole book in one night. I explained that it was fine with me if we tried for separate orgasms, with her going first - as my concern for years has been for her satisfaction and this seemed like an easy way to start.
For the first time I can remember, she offered to arouse me orally and did so while laughing and kissing me. We had tried direct clitoral stimulation hundreds of times before, but we had very little success with it. Now, she helped me do exactly what she needed and reaped the reward of one her best orgasms ever. After she said told me how good it was, my pleasure was easy.
Needless to say, I was amazed. Every caring husband wants his wife to feel this way and deserves to be part of a successful love-making process. I love her and I love loving her.
In fact, I felt so good about what happened between us, I could not stop thinking or dreaming about it. I asked if I could wake her for a “quick release” three hours later, then again fours hours after that. She agreed and was amazed at my remaining potency and quickness - and so was I. I’m not sure how this is even possible at my age. Now, I know we did not overcome all of our problems in one night, but it sure feels like we did.
God definitely had a big part in changing my wife’s attitude and mine. That said, your book was obviously the vehicle for His Will. We were completely out of options to solve our problems and had both given in to fighting. I had, for the first time, seriously considered giving up on our 20-year marriage. I knew giving up was the wrong answer, but I did not know the right answer. Everything we had tried failed miserably because we had very limited knowledge about our sexual problems.
I cannot explain how glad I am that God intervened and used you to help us in our time of need. My doubts and fears about our future together have melted into meaninglessness and irrelevance. Now, we both want to build on our good experiences instead of continuing to re-live bad ones, as we previously did.
Thank you again.
Sometimes…it DOES work…
Posted: April 2nd, 2008 under Christian Sex Advice, Christian Marriage, Christian Wives, Christian Husbands.
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